


To Begin Again

by izuruthemad



Series: Z's NDRv3 Virtual AU [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I am my own beta reader lol, Kaede is not straight, Kaito's a hothead, Kokichi is a caring bf, M/M, Multi, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PTSD, Rebuilding, Shuichi tries but he gets rejected, Shuichi's a Sad Bitch, Slow Build, Slow Burn, The kids get therapy, Tsumugi is trying her best, Virtual Reality, bRO yOu BRokE MY TV WAS TRYNA WATCH A SOAP OPERA, kiibo is an android, the kids need therapy, thx u so much tsumugi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-03-20 23:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13728342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izuruthemad/pseuds/izuruthemad
Summary: the last thing he sees before he steps into the light is his friends, just two of them, right next to him.





	1. when it ended, it began

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a long time since I've written!  
> I'm sorta new to the DR fandom, and I really didn't watch any v2 playthroughs, so my characterizations might be a little OOC. As well as this, none of my stuff is beta-d, so if you catch any mistakes, call me out on them in the comments.
> 
> I turned off anon commenting because of an incident or three on some of my older fics, so if you have something to say, please use an archive account.
> 
> Anyways, here's my terrible first addition to the DR fandom.

_Was this lie able to change someone?_

* * *

It's as if the light swallowed him.

 

Everything was bright, bright, blinding. The ever-encompassing light overtook his vision. He couldn't feel himself falling, but somehow he was on his back. He shut his eyes against it, wincing as it filtered past his eyelids.

He knew, at some point, that he wasn't standing anymore, but he couldn't recall ever consciously making the decision to do so. His head felt heavy, his everything weak.

At one point, he wondered if he had just died. He had stopped falling a long time ago. He called out to them, wondering if they could truly hear him if he was.

Someone pulled something off of his face, and air brushed over his eyelashes gently.

_"Kaede? Kokichi? Kaito?"_

He was suddenly aware of his own ability to move. He refused to open his eyes, but he attempted to move about. He was aware of someone screaming, but he couldn't place whom.

_"KAEDE? KOKICHI? KAITO?"_

Maybe he wasn't dead. He tried calling out to his more alive friends. They were right next to him last time he checked, right?

_"MAKI? HIMIKO?"_

_"WHERE ARE YOU?"_

Yeah, they were, right? He had stepped through the light with them. They had to be, right?

_"HELLO? ANYONE? HELP ME!"_

_"HELP ME!"_

And then it hit him that the screaming that he had heard was his own.

* * *

 

"Mister Saihara, you need to calm down."

"The game is over, sir, you're back in the real world."

"Saihara, restraining you will be necessary until you regain your bearings. Please do not be alarmed."

Shuichi's eyes shot open. His head hurt. Several doctors and nurses were trying to tie him down and placate him, repeating empty promises and informing him of things he already knew they were doing to him.. However, Shuichi's main concern was not being calm. He was, more accurately, concerned about trying to find out  _what the hell was happening._ He could see what looked to be some sort of headset on the table next to him, and a tv on the wall. 

At some point, he was unable to struggle as his arms and legs were restrained, ( _"It's for your own good, Mister Saihara, we know what you went through was stressful but flailing around like that in your condition is just going to hurt you more")_ but nothing was going to stop him from yelling. Eventually, he realized that was fruitless too, as the only people able to give him answers simply left as to avoid the screaming.

After a while, stuck in his bounds, he resorted to investigating his surroundings, not unlike what he would do after a murder case. (he didn't want to have to investigate ever again, but here he was, investigating a hospital room that apparently he needed to be confined in.) The TV wasn't on, and considering someone threw the remote into the screen, he doubted it would ever be turned on again. To his right (and the tv's left) was a couple of chairs and a bookcase, and to his immediate right was a table, with the aforementioned headset. The headset plugged in to a rather large device behind him, which seemed to be integrated into the wall. As well as this, there were a couple of cards on his bedside, and a lamp. To the left was a window, and another chair, as well as a duffel bag that looked like it would belong to him. (He thought it did, mainly because he liked the style of it.)

Shuichi would've  _read_ the cards, and he most certainly did want to, but his arms were restrained and he could exactly move them to grab them. Realizing that his investigation ended up being fruitless, he sighed, and decided on going to sleep, at least if he could manage it.

Sleep did not come easy. Most of the contents of the room seemed innocuous, but the two things that got him were were the broken tv, and the headset. Shuichi knew that he wasn't  _actually_ the Ultimate Detective, but he did learn a thing or two about solving mysteries from his time in the killing game. For the broken TV, Shuichi figured that whatever was displayed upset or excited one of the room's visitors, and they threw the remote at the TV and broke it. From his view on the bed, he couldn't really tell, but it didn't seem to have number pads, just an off/on button and volume controls. That told Shuichi that there was only one channel. _Maybe the Killing Game?_ Shuichi couldn't place who would possibly come here to watch the killing game; maybe one of the hospital's past patients. Who knows, Tsumugi really enforced the idea of the game being really popular.

What really disturbed him, though, was that headset. It was obviously on his head, as he remembered someone taking it off when he woke up screaming. Maybe it was to erase his memories of getting here, like those Flashback Lights from the game? Either way, he could only chalk this up to being Team Danganronpa's fault.

Shuichi groaned. He wanted nothing to do with Team Danganronpa; he just wanted to find Maki and Himiko and get as far away from society as possible. Before he knew it, his resentful thoughts carried him off to an uneasy sleep.

* * *

 

Shuichi woke up again to a gentle knock on his door. He'd be more apt to complain, but the sunlight streaming through the window looked rather lovely, and it placated him a bit. As well as this, the headache from the day before was gone, so Shuichi decided he'd listen for a bit. Maybe he'd finally get some answers.

"Mister Saihara, can I come in?" The voice seemed to belong to a man. Shuichi smiled tiredly, not knowing what to expect.

"Yeah. Come in." His own voice shocked him. It sounded very unused for someone who'd spent the last month (about) arguing for his life with a bunch of other teenagers. Shuichi took this into account. How long had he been in here?

The door opened, and he was met with an older man who Shuichi would estimate to be in his thirties to fourties. He could see someone waiting in the hall after him, but before Shuichi could register who it was, the man shut the door behind him. He sat down in one of the chairs next to Shuichi, who looked at him expectantly.

"So," he started, "I'm assuming you want answers?" His tone told Shuichi that he was willing to answer most anything, despite being tired. Shuichi, pretty much ready to jump on that opportunity, nodded excitedly.

The man sighed. "I'll explain to you what you need to know, and then your classmates can come in and explain the rest. Or at least the ones that are awake, anyways. Some took a lot of damage and'll take a lot longer to wake."

"What do you mean, my classmates? Are Himiko and Maki here?"  _Somehow, the answer doesn't seem that simple._

Shuichi didn't understand. How could Himiko and Maki explain this? 

"Well, you see, this might cause you a bit of alarm." The man tried to sound reassuring, but his feeble attempts at calming Shuichi made him even more nervous. "But, the truth is a bit alarming at first."

"Mister Saihara, you're one of the three winners of the 53rd Danganronpa Killing Game  _Simulation._ "

_Simulation._

_Simulation?!?_

Shuichi remembered screaming before he blacked out again.

* * *

Shuichi woke up to the man shaking him.

"What do you mean,  _simulation?"_ he blurted out angrily. "That wasn't a simulation! You can't mean that!"

_The pain of losing everyone and everything felt too real to be a simulation. It seemed too much like a fix-it to be a fucking simulation._

_It felt like it was trivializing his emotions._

"Forcing teenagers to kill each other for sport just isn't legal, Mister Saihara," the man (still unidentified, to Shuichi's anger) explained hurriedly. "Having teenagers volunteer to participate in a sim for sport and a chance at reward money is. Do you honestly think we could actually let you guys run around killing each other? That's not ethical."

"But making us live it out like we really were is?" Shuichi seethed. "Broadcast for the world to see, no less?"

_In the end, the fact that his emotions were entertainment for the masses trivialized them in the first place, so it wasn't that strange._

The man sighed, pinching the space between his brows. "In the end, what happened happened, it's over and done with, all your little friends are alive and you won a lot of prize money. We can't change that now."

"Still..."

_What was he looking for? An apology? A hug? Kaede? Either way, it was no use arguing, right?_

"What happened to my TV?"

The man chuckled.

"Mister Momota threw the remote and broke the TV when you exposed Miss Shirogane as this season's mastermind in shock. You should find that one of the cards there is from him." Shuichi could easily imagine his hot-headed friend being responsible. "If it makes you feel any better, your friend took the news of it being a virtual reality a lot worse."

"So Kaito's awake then? Who else, if I can ask?"

The man checked his phone, as if he had a list. "Misters Momota, Hoshi, Amami as well as Misses Akamatsu, Toujou, Yonaga, Chabashira, Iruma, and Harukawa and Yumeno, who are both being spoken to now."

Down the hall, Shuichi swore he heard Himiko's joyful cry of  _"Tenko!"_ followed by sobbing. Shuichi grinned. At least someone found their happy ending.

_That leaves Tsumugi, Gonta, Kiibo, Kiyo and Kokichi, huh. I wonder..._

"It appears," the man started, cutting through Shuichi's train of thought, "that the more damage the player's body sustains during their initial cause of death, the longer it takes for them to wake up. We thought this would affect Mister Hoshi's awakening, as he was consumed by piranhas, but his initial cause of death was suffocation, so apparently that has overridden the eventual destruction of his corpse. Same with Miss Akamatsu."

Shuichi flinched. He didn't want to hear the gory details of his friends' deaths over again.

_"Shut up!"_

He didn't mean to say that.

"I'm sorry if I alarmed you, Mister Saihara. I should let one of your peers do the explaining for you." He stood up to leave, but then stopped.

"As well as that, we need to re-upload K1-B0's AI into a new body, so it might be a while before he is functioning again. I know this concerns Miss Iruma more than you, but I thought you'd like to know."

With that, he left the room, leaving Shuichi in his own thoughts.

_Damnit. He forgot to take off the restraints._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey i firmly believe Kaede is a gay mess and i love her
> 
> don't u worry i firmly believe Shuichi had a crush on her before she did a murder but i'm preeeeettty sure it was unrequited
> 
> I'll touch on that shit
> 
> Like??? Kaede was super important to Shuichi? And she was a huge inspo to his development? But she flirted with like 5 of the girls in chapter 1 and zero (0) guys and called Tsumugi sexy and Tenko cute so byeee
> 
> And eventually he does move on? So i'm gonna let the poor boy move on


	2. When the Saints Come Marching In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha my browser crashed and i had to rewrite all of it, bye

_Was this lie able to change something?_

* * *

The first ghost Shuichi saw wasn't Kaito, or Kaede. It was, to his surprise, Kirumi, who came in to deliver his breakfast and (to his relief) untie him. Their reunion was brief, and curt; they gently shook hands and Kirumi filled him in on what had happened.

"Gokuhara-kun woke up this morning," she informed him as he scrambled to scarf down the bacon and eggs she had brought him, fork scratching against the plate. "He says he is very proud of Saihara-kun and that he did a good job."

Kirumi looked rather moderate in comparison to her past attire; it was still a maid's uniform, but not as intricate. It looked as if she had forgone her style for her comfort, and Shuichi could easily understand why. However, the mannerisms he had associated with the Ultimate Maid had not changed; she was still as formal as ever.

Shuichi nodded; he was glad to hear that the gentle giant was alright, but at the same time he felt rather tired of people.

Soon, the plate was clear, and back in Kirumi's hands; and in due time she had walked herself back to his door. She made to leave, but as she did, something stopped her.

"Saihara-kun," she began, "if you wish for your classmates to visit you, don't hesitate to ask me to call someone."

_Why would anyone want to visit me? My lousy detective skills are what prolonged the game in the first place._

Shuichi sighed. "I'll be fine, Kirumi. Thank you for offering.

Shuichi swore he didn't care when the door clicked shut behind her.

* * *

_So Gonta's awake, huh? That leaves Kiyo, Tsumugi, Kiibo and Kokichi..._

When he thought about it further, it didn't surprise him in the slightest. The four had suffered horribly in their deaths. Shuichi didn't want to relive seeing them, but whenever the topic was brought up, he just... did.

Kiyo, who'd been thrown in a cookpot, boiled alive, and had his soul purified with salt.

Kiibo, who turned himself into a bomb and detonated himself.

Tsumugi, who was crushed by a rock larger than her(like she didn't deserve it. Hell, did she even have a choice?).

and, Kokichi, who was smashed inside a hydraulic press.

He didn't know why, but Shuichi got sick to his stomach every time he thought about Kokichi's tragic end. Maybe it was because he died thinking he was alone, or maybe it was because he made himself suffer so horribly just to help unearth the mastermind.

 _Or maybe,_ his traitorous brain supplied,  _it's because of the horrible things you said to him that he died. Maybe he took you seriously and planned this._

 Shuichi growled, and forced himself to stuff those thoughts away.

* * *

 

Eventually, he brought himself to read those cards that got left on his nightstand. Like the man said, one was most definitely from Kaito, with a little drawing of a spaceship done on the front in blue pen. Shuichi opened it with a small smile.

_HEY DUDE!! Congrats on getting yourselves out of the sim! Hey, they're even planning to cancel the show because of your logic! Wish I was there to listen to your reasoning in person, but I was just there watching from my room (sorry about your TV)._

_If you're reading this, I'm ready to bet you're holed up in your room being emo. Don't be shy, come out and visit us!_

_Kaito (Maki Roll says hi too, she just refuses to admit it)_

Shuichi chuckled a bit at his friend's pestering, and set it down to read the next one.

The second card was less of a card and more of a note. Shuichi knew immediately who it was from.

_Thank you for carrying on my wish._

* * *

 The sun shone through his window, and Shuichi Saihara had visitors. Despite Shuichi's attempts to dissuade anyone coming back except for Kirumi with his meals, Kaito had forced himself in, coat billowing, Maki right behind. With a yell of "dude!", Kaito threw himself at the ailing Shuichi and pulled him in for a hug. Maki settled herself in the chair behind him, arms crossed.

"Why'd you wreck my tv?" Shuichi asked weakly. "I was gonna watch a soap opera, or maybe a murder mystery. Preferably a soap opera." He winced at how unused his voice still sounded, scratchy and quiet.

Kaito grinned, letting his friend's attempt at humor slide.

(At least he thought it was humor; nothing sounded funny in his quiet voice that spoke nothing but the truth.)

"I doubt you'd be able to find any soap operas on that thing, but suit yourself." He sat next to Maki and gave her a hug. "So, Shuichi, why have you been hiding from us?

"I-"

He didn't know why.

\--

_he didn't know why. what did he gain from it?_

_\--_

"You had us seriously worried," Maki remarked darkly. "We thought you were dying, or that we did something wrong. Why? I thought you'd want to see us, or maybe Akamatsu."

Kaito frowned "Maki Roll's right. Holing up like this isn't good for you." Normally, Maki would be flustered at the pet name, but judging by her expression, she was too disappointed in Shuichi to care.

Shuichi sighed.

"Sorry, guys. I'll come down to see you all later, if you really want me too."

The couple relaxed at that. Kaito put his arm around Maki, who in turn went beet red and hid her blushing face in his shirt. Shuichi smiled at that.

"So, what did I miss?" he pressed. Shuichi cared less about the answer that he got than the opportunity to have a real conversation with his friends after everything, but he still paid attention anyways.

"Well," Kaito started, "Korekiyo woke up." He and Maki passed a knowing look. "And, you'll never believe what he did during his first breakfast back."

 "What did he do?" Shuichi was interested. He hadn't heard anything memorable about the others waking up (besides him screaming his lungs out), so he wanted to know what kinds of schematics the eccentric Ultimate Anthropologist was up to.

"So he comes in to breakfast," Kaito started, "wearing a croptop, skinny jeans and no hat, but he still had the mask. We all compliment him, and everyone's like 'wow, Kiyo, you look great'. He sits down and kind of  _smiles,_ and without saying anything he just takes off the gimp mask.

"He's wearing lipstick underneath the mask, and it looks good on him. We all just kind of stare at him, because we didn't realize how damn good he looked with a visible chin, and he goes, 'I was just growing tired of hiding it'. So now Korekiyo is the hot friend."

 Shuichi kinda laughed. At this point, he wasn't listening to his friend, but it felt nice to have a normal conversation again.

* * *

 Later, he regretted it. Why did he say he'd come down to see them? He was tired. Why do conversations drain him? They used to, but not to this degree.

* * *

 Getting the nerve to come down is one thing. Getting on his feet and walking down there is a whole different animal, and Shuichi learned just how difficult it is the hard way.

The first thing he did was make sure his legs work. He wiggled his toes experimentally. Satisfied by that, he then lifted a leg to himself. Wobbly, but good.

He used his arms to push himself to the edge of his bed, his feet touching the floor lightly. Determined, he set one foot out in front of him whilst gripping the rails of his bed. When that holds, he lightly balanced on the other, and ever so slowly let go.

No dice. He wobbled, and fell to his knees as his legs gave out underneath him.

 _Fuck it!_ He cursed and grabbed his IV pole, (not caring that he was barefoot and wearing basically a night gown) and precariously balanced against it as he hobbled out of his room.

* * *

 Shuichi could hear laughter and chatter as he approaches the cafeteria. He smiled to himself as he imagined his friends taking solace in each other, and tried not to think about the fact that they didn't need him to be there with them. Steeling himself, he balanced on his IV pole with one hand and tried to push the door with the other.

Somebody yelled, "I got it!" and the door swung open to reveal Rantarou as his savior. He smiled amicably and allowed Shuichi to lean on him as he walked him into the cafeteria.

When he entered, everyone stopped and looked at him expectantly. They were all seated around a table, and two extra chairs were placed at each end, making sixteen. (some were notoriously empty, but just because their inhabitants were asleep didn't mean they were forgotten. It was almost like a class trial. Shuichi would've thought it more picturesque if the empty ones had portraits).

At the left end of the table sat Angie, in her yellow raincoat and a shirt a little less revealing than her bikini, seemingly in prayer. To her right were Himiko and Tenko, sharing a pink blanket and an ice cream sundae. Then there was Ryouma, who was complaining about not being able to get a smoke, and then an empty chair. Next was Miu, in a pink sweater that hung off the shoulder, who was giving Rantarou the eyes (and judging by his groan, he was aware). Then there was another empty chair, which had a post-it that said "reserved" in Miu's handwriting, and then Kiyo, in an outfit quite like the one Kaito described. His eyes flashed in amusement at Shuichi's shock. At the left end of the table there was another empty chair, and then Kaede, who was motioning for the two of them to sit in the two empty spots to her left. One had a soda can at the table already, so Shuichi assumed it was Rantarou's. Left of Shuichi and Rantarou's spots were Kaito and Maki, the former attempting to feed the latter spaghetti. Then, next to them was Gonta, who wasn't wearing a suit for once, and finally Kirumi, who seemed to be just generally observing everyone enjoy the food that she most likely helped cook. (she wouldn't take hospitality from anyone, including the hospital.)

This group of kids were now sitting, eyes fixated on the boy who just walked in, eagerly awaiting his words.

Shuichi gulped.

"H-hey guys, it's good to be back," he stammered.

The table politely broke into applause. Rantarou helped him into his chair.

"Man, you're really frail," he noted. "You're gonna eat at least one full-course meal before you leave, or so help me." Before Shuichi could protest, someone had piled his plate with spaghetti. 

The culprit was soon found to be Tenko, who huffed, "you degenerate males need to eat something." 

Shuichi reluctantly answered question after question of his whereabouts, only stopping to try and attack Mount Spaghetti. 

In the end, he found himself facing Kaede, a question in his eyes. He had stopped himself from trying to speak to her, as he still felt guilty for her death  _which he probably could've prevented if he wasn't such a screw up_

He sighed and smothered his own thoughts again.

"You did a good job, you know," she said reassuringly, squeezing his hand. "I don't blame you at all. None of us could've guessed it."

Shuichi sighed. "Still. I failed you. You were all I had at the time, and I left you die."

"But Shuichi," she pointed out, "if I hadn't forced you to move on, who knows if you would've ever gotten out of your shell. Look at all of these friends you've made."

"That's true. Thank you."

He swallowed. Maybe...

"And, um, Kaede."

"Yes, Shuichi?"

"Well, I..." 

He swallowed again. "Well, I was hoping I could pursue my feelings for you."

Kaede paused. She looked quite uncomfortable. "Shuichi, I like girls," she muttered, embarrassed.

Shuichi froze.  _oh._

"You didn't notice?" she asked, concerned. "I called Shirogane sexy right in front of you on the day we met. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."

_It stung a little._

"N-no, that's alright, Kaede. I should've paid more attention." He smiled it off, futzing with his hair, trying not to look as pained as he was. "I'm sorry about that."

They both ate the rest of their meals in silence, trying not to look at each other.

_But she was right. In the end, he had moved on._

 


	3. SHSL Emo Kid

_Was this lie... able to change the world?_

* * *

 Just because he had moved on didn't mean Shuichi wasn't gonna be a sad bitch.

It would explain as to why three days later, he found himself curled under the sheets of his bed, wearing a hoodie from his duffel bag over his scrubs, eating a bowl of ice cream, tears running down his face.

It wasn't right of him to do this to Kaede, he figured, but he really was shaken over it and at the moment all he cared about was himself (and he figured he could indulge himself).

Kaede herself had actually gotten him the ice cream, and had sheepishly apologized, but his mood hadn't gotten much better.

About halfway through the second day, his grief over the rejection had faded out, but in its place his crippling self doubt had returned, and he really didn't feel like going out to see the others again. So, in the privacy of his room he had stayed.

* * *

 Later on, Kaito and Maki came to get him.

 At that particular moment, Shuichi had utterly encapsulated himself in his sheets and someone (probably Kirumi) had provided him with a book light. He had taken it upon himself to use this motive to retrieve a novel from his book shelf, so at the present he was reading while eating his ice cream, still miserable as ever.

To his great delight, the walk over to the bookshelf was far easier than his first stumble down to the cafeteria.

Despite Shuichi's interest in his novel, Kaito had other plans. There was a knock on the door, and without waiting for a response, he opened the door and barged in.

The noise alarmed Shuichi. He flailed, struggling to throw his blankets off of him as they obscured his vision of his visitor. "Who is it?! What do you want with me?!" he shrieked in alarm.

Kaito let out a chuckle at his friend's struggle. "Come on, we gotta go to the lobby, throw some pants on or something!" he urged, tossing the last of the offending material off of Shuichi. Shuichi huffed and grabbed a pair of sweatpants from his duffel bag.

"What's going on? What's down there?" he asked, slipping them on. 

Maki burst in just then. "Hurry up, we're gonna be late." She turned tail and left, motioning for them to follow.

Shuichi pierced Kaito with a questioning stare. He was confused, tired, miserable, and he just wanted to return to his book.

"Come on, dude." Kaito opened the door, offering it to Shuichi. "They're gonna re-upload Kiibo today!"

* * *

 Just like in the cafeteria, the sixteen chairs were assembled, and they looked a lot less empty. With a dull pang in his chest, Shuichi realized there were only two empty ones left besides the ones he, Maki and Kaito were about to fill. Approaching his chair, he noticed a little yellow post-it note with the words  _SHSL Emo Hat_ in Miu's characteristic scrawl. He let out a little chuckle and stuck it to his hoodie like a name tag.

He glanced over at Kaito  _(Luke Skywalker)_ and Maki  _(Murder for Hire) ,_ who were both avidly invested in the chair towards the front. There, in front of them, sat Kiibo's new body. His face was no different than they had remembered it. His body was a simple android this time, dressed up like a mannequin. Shuichi supposed it wasn't necessary to stick all of the gadgets that Kiibo had in the sim on him, as they didn't expect to be fighting anyone anytime soon.

At the present moment, wires upon wires trailed out of the back panel of Kiibo's new body, which linked up to a computer on which Miu and a couple staff members were working with whispered arguing. When she noticed the three of them had finally arrived, she waved and turned to the group.

 "Alright sluts!" she yelled happily, clearly excited. "Give us about two more minutes, and we'll start the show!" The class responded by applauding. Miu took her bow and returned to her work.

A scraping noise alerted Shuichi that somebody was dragging their chair across the linoleum. In seconds, Rantarou and Kaede had scooted up next to them, Rantarou holding his sticky note up with a perturbed expression.

"This," he began, "is how my chair was labeled, but seeing yours makes me feel more confident in myself."

His note read,  _"Where's the guacamami"_.

Kaito started laughing, and Shuichi and Maki bit back their laughter. Rantarou just sighed and muttered, "if y'all keep bulli me i'm gonna runtarou out of here," and motioned for Kaede to show hers, which had  _"A piano I must aquire to satiate my desire"_ written in red Sharpie.

At that point everyone in the group was in tears.

Someone cleared their throat and everyone whipped around to the front. There stood Miu, proudly holding a flower and demanding their every attention.

"Alright, bitches and gentlehoes! Welcome to Kiibo's fucking birthday party!"

Whoops and hollers bounced around the crowd. Everyone who wasn't wolf-whistling politely applauded.

Miu gestured to her computer. "All I gotta do," she explained, "is press this little button and the upload will start. Y'all ready for this?"

Nods of affirmation and yells of "fucking go for it!" from Kaito told her the answer to that question. Miu smirked and placed her finger over the key.

"Alrighty and... send!"

Miu pressed the button. The group waited expectantly.

When nothing happened, Miu glanced at the screen and growled.

"What do you mean,  _12 hours remaining?_ That's bullshit!"

Everyone groaned.

"Oh wait, nevermind, it jumped down to thirty seconds."

As the crowd waited with bated breath, Miu counted down the seconds. Slowly, Kiibo's AI transfered itself out of Miu's laptop and into his new body. As the timer hit zero and the file transfer was complete, Miu excitedly unplugged the cords and switched on Kiibo.

Kiibo's blue eyes flickered to life as he surveyed the room, disoriented. He looked them all over, then flexed his fingers experimentally.

"Oh, hey guys," he commented lightly.

Miu grinned. "Hey, Kii-boy," she responded, pressing the flower into his hand. Kiibo's eyes widened and she pulled the robot into a hug.

"Miu!"

Have you ever seen a robot cry tears of joy? Shuichi could now say he personally did.

Before he knew it he was leaving his chair as the rest of the class pulled him into a group hug, cheering and crying. Over the top of everyone's heads he could see Kiibo smiling gently, rocking softly in Miu's embrace.

Soon enough, the class shuttled him off to the cafeteria, where he took his place between Miu and Kiyo, holding the former's hand gently.

Shuichi was happy for them all, he really was, but whenever he looked over at the empty chair he supposed Kokichi was supposed to sit in, something bitter boiled in the pit of his stomach. 

* * *

 He didn't understand why it bothered him so much. Sure, it was to be expected that Kokichi would wake up last, as there was literally nothing left of him after his death in the sim (not even a corpse, just a splatter of blood), but it still hurt for some reason.

Not only did he blame himself, he had also been a bit fond of Kokichi. His lies were an enigma for him to figure out, and Kokichi had shown that he cared in small ways that still stuck with him.

_"my beloved Saihara-chan!"_

And even if Kokichi was... off-putting, he had his reasons for all of it. He was trying to save everyone in his own way.

And of course, there was

_"I stole your heart, so now I'm satisfied."_

What did he even mean by that??

Whenit came down to it, it seemed like Shuichi had misread Kokichi the whole time. He felt guilty.

So, so very guilty.

* * *

 Which is, of course, probably why he found himself in Kokichi's room moments later.

Finding himself face-to-face with someone still in the sim was rather unnerving, if he was to be honest with himself. The helmets looked rather out of place on Kokichi, an unnatural thing on the small boy. Where he was lithe and small  ~~ _frail_~~ the helmet was bulky and cumbersome. Strands of his violet hair peeked out past the brim, framing his mouth and chin. The rest of his small body rarely disturbed the sheets around him with each quiet, rattling breath he took. Shuichi swallowed when he realized how  _tiny_ the other boy was; and Rantarou said  _Shuichi_ was skinny!

Shuichi felt the overwhelming need to apologise, and it took everything to stop blaming himself in the moment. Kokichi would've probably just told him to save his pity. Or, more accurately, that Shuichi himself was more deserving of it.

He sighed and turned away. The frail state of his classmate was depressing.

He opened the door... and walked straight into Tsumugi.

"Oh, Shirogane," Shuichi commented in mild surprise.

They regarded each other coolly. Shuichi didn't really trust Tsumugi after what happened in the game, but there was the very real possibility that she was manipulated like the others, so he was open for discussion. However, the current tension in the air was so thick, it was as if you could cut it with a knife.

A moment of silence passed.

And then, Tsumugi bowed in apology.

"I'm so sorry," she muttered, not meeting his gaze. "I knew it was a sim the whole time and I used it to my advantage. I didn't think the consequences of my actions would have been as real as they happened to be, and I took advantage of all of you."

Shuichi blinked, not responding.

Tsumugi grinned weakly. "I know my words don't have much weight after what I did, and no amount of me running my mouth off is going to solve the problem or fix what I've done. However, I want to have a chance to prove myself to be better. Please."

There was silence again, after Tsumugi finished speaking. She fidgeted, and wrung her hands.

Shuichi sighed. "...alright. but you shouldn't be apologizing to me."

"What?"

"Apologize to them." He motioned down the hallway in the direction of the cafeteria. "I'm not the one who'll never play the Flea Waltz again or get scared every time they bump their head. I'm not the one who'll freak out over small burns or check over their shoulder whenever they wash their hands in the sink. When it comes down to it what I went through was pretty minimal. If they can forgive you, so can I."

Tsumugi nodded quietly. "Thanks." With a sigh, she slunk off to the cafeteria to await her punishment.

Shuichi frowned, and returned to his room. He was a hypocrite. Tsumugi had the courage to face everyone, and yet he couldn't?

 _Pathetic,_ his mind screamed at him, and this time he didn't care to disagree.

* * *

 When night eventually fell, and the stars shone bright through the window, Shuichi finally put his book aside and shut it quietly. As much as he wanted to read the final chapter, and figure out if at long last the detective caught the Phantom Thief, he supposed keeping himself up wouldn't do him any good.

Dancing on his toes, he crept over to the bookshelf and slid the book back where it belonged gently. There next to hit he placed the book light, and in the reflection of the window he slid off his sweatpants. In a few seconds, his hoodie met them in a pile on the floor, and wearing just his gown, he climbed back into bed. With a sigh, he pulled the covers back over his head.

He could swear he heard footsteps running down the hall, and judging by the intensity he assumed there were some several people. It was intriguing, but at this point Shuichi was tired and didn't care too much to find out who they belonged to.

He lightly stared at his own outstretched hand. His fingers were really fragile and unused, weren't they? His nails were long and neat, still smooth from the last time he clipped them; connected to long, bony fingers and a bony hand, then a skinny wrist and a slender arm. It was interesting, he'd suppose. Maybe Rantarou was right about him being skinny.

His eyes fluttered shut. Maybe he'd get some sleep tonight, he supposed with an inward sigh of relief.

Until his quiet reverie was broken by a skull-shattering scream.

* * *

  _If it was able to change even the smallest thing..._

 

_...then the story isn't over._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha guess what it's a cliffhanger
> 
> Srry not sorry
> 
> tell me if my chapters have writing flaws dood


	4. Coming Up For Air

A scream, filled with terror and agony, tore open the air, and Shuichi's entire world.

And as soon as he heard it, he knew

that everyone had finally come home.

* * *

 He didn't remember his feet hitting the floor, or ever deciding to run in the first place, but when the door moved as his hand stood in front of him, shaking with fear, he understood that maybe he didn't need to.

What mattered more was being there, doing anything to help. It was probably scary for him.

" _I SHOULD BE DEAD!_ "

And Shuichi was scared too, because that scream was much worse than any he had made.

Finding the room again wasn't that difficult.

"My head hurts! It's too loud! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up, _shut up, SHUT UP!_ "

 His shaking hands gripped the door handle and threw it open. There were four men and women there, one taking off the helmet on Kokichi's head. The other three doctors were trying to restrain him like they did Shuichi, taking vitals and attempting to help in any way or form.

Poor Kokichi was thrashing in his sheets in distress, unable to control his own limbs even if he wanted to, eyes shot open in terror, screaming. His bright purple eyes seemed dulled and bloodshot, staring past everyone into his own world, yet gaining a little more focus every time the small boy blinked.

 Suddenly, his eyes fixed on Shuichi. He gasped as those purple eyes pierced straight into his soul.

"Shuichi? Shuichi!  _Shuichi, help me! HELP ME!_ "

Shuichi tried to run over to his side, but a nurse held him back, insisting that he wait until Kokichi was well and fully oriented and that he was alarming the patient. He struggled as the nurse pushed him to the door. Kokichi let out an alarmed yell as he realized they were taking Shuichi away from him, and Shuichi's heart hurt for him. 

" _NO! Don't take Shuichi away from me! NO! NOOOO!"_

The last thing Shuichi saw before the door shut on his face was someone giving Kokichi anesthesia, and in seconds the boy was out like a light.

* * *

 "You look like a mess."

Shuichi sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, Tsumugi of all people next to him, sporting a black eye. He cried softly, and every so often Tsumugi would awkwardly glance his way, not knowing how to help.

"Why are you here...? Why are you helping me?" he pleaded, wanting some solace. He was happy someone came to see him, but Tsumugi? 

Well, at least she was trying to help.

Her aquamarine eyes flashed over her glasses sternly. "Kaito said if I didn't do anything he'd punch me again." She paused, and then added, ''As well as that, as the one at fault for Kokichi's trauma, it's my responsibility to help everyone get through it. I'd be a hypocrite for not following through with my apology."

"That's fair."

Shuichi sighed and rubbed the tears from his eyes.

"He was so scared, Tsumugi. And the nurses, they wouldn't let me help him. He saw me, Tsumugi. He called out. But they still didn't let me..."

He trailed off, watching his own tears fall onto his knuckles and roll off them gently.

His voice broke as he hoarsely whispered, "...Why?"

Tsumugi rubbed his back gently. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, "for putting you guys through this. If I had known..."

Shuichi sighed. "And yet you didn't."

"And yet I didn't. And I was foolish."

* * *

 "Mister Saihara, Mister Ouma is available now, if you wish to visit him."

"Thanks."

_Not like you helped him much._

* * *

Shuichi cautiously knocked on the door, halfway hoping that Kokichi was asleep so he could pop in without being a nuisance to the other boy. He waited outside for an answer, and a soft voice asked "yes? Who is it?"

"It's Shuichi Saihara," he replied tenatively. "I stopped by to visit."

"Ah, my beloved Saihara-chan. Come in," Kokichi's voice offered. Shuichi took this as an ok, and quietly slid open the door.

There he was, weakly smiling up at him, tied to the bed he slept in, not quite unlike Shuichi's own initial predicament. Shuichi quietly slipped in and angrily worked at freeing Kokichi, not unlike how Kirumi did so for him, and sat down next to him.

"So what does Saihara-chan want from me?" Kokichi asked, weakly wiggling his fingers. "I suppose you're still mad at me for that stunt I pulled during the game, and you're here to lecture me, right? I suppose I'd-"

Shuichi pulled him into a hug. "Stop that. I was scared, ok?" He didn't want to make the small boy think he was mad at him, but he didn't know how to convey that in words. "I know you did what you thought was right but... I missed you. You were right, that afternoon when you played the knife game. I never did manage to get you out of my head."

Kokichi deftly raised his arms to try and return the hug. "Saihara-chan, I-"

"And you, you pushed everyone away so you could slip out quietly without anyone caring, but.. I felt as if I was responsible!"

"Saihara-chan..."

Shuichi grabbed his shoulders. "Why, Kokichi? Why did you have to be so selfless? Why would you hurt yourself just so everyone else would hurt less?" Shuichi pleaded. "All of us that care about you, it hurt us right along with you! Why...?"

Shuichi's shoulders shook as he cried into Kokichi's shirt.

Kokichi looked away. "Shuichi, I... I'm sorry."

"But why should you even answer? You'd just lie to avoid it, right?"

"Shuichi. That's-"

"It's just so fucking difficult to get you. I don't know why you did what you did and judging by your habits of lying I probably won't know the real answer, which sucks because I can't help without a truth to go by!"

"SHUICHI!" Kokichi yelled, cutting into his tirade. "Listen to me!"

Shuichi blinked, snapping back to reality.

The small boy sighed. "I built myself on lies. Even the most crazy of lies could be turned into a truth if told to enough people. I even lied to myself. That's a truth." 

He wiggled his legs. Kokichi tried to go on, but when he realized his muscles weren't obeying him, he faltered.

"Kokichi? Are you alright?" Shuichi asked.

"...can you help me bring my knees up to my chest? I can't seem to... my legs still seem to think they're squished by the press..."

"Ah. Right." Shuichi helped Kokichi draw his knees to his chin. Kokichi hugged his legs and continued.

"It was such a good lie that I based my entire world around it, Saihara-chan."

There was a pause.

"Then, people started to despise me for my lies. They thought I was annoying, childish, evil. Everyone except you, who took them as something to decode. To solve, like a case. I pushed myself away in order to quietly slip out, because didn't everyone hate me anyways? I didn't matter enough to be missed."

A tear rolled down Kokichi's face, and Shuichi could finally tell that it wasn't fake. He squeezed his hand in reassurance. "It's ok, continue."

"And, I got back here, and it turned out my death didn't mean shit. I was lying to myself inside of a lie. I thought I was the liar, but I was being lied to all along."

"I don't wanna lie anymore, Saihara-chan," Kokichi finished. "I was tired and Team Danganronpa says it's not over and I'm too tired to lie anymore."

Three more tears chased each other down Kokichi's cheeks.

The boy in question let out a strangled sob. Shuichi let him use his shirt this time, crying himself. They leaned up against each other until their tears finally faded away.

"It's gonna be ok, 'Kichi," Shuichi whispered. "It's nice that you're back."

Kokichi nodded and slid his legs back under the covers. They sat there, just listening to the other breathe, until they slowly but surely fell asleep.

* * *

Kokichi blinked awake to a weight on his shoulder. He looked to it to see the sunlight gently bouncing off of a head of messy black hair, snoring away on his shoulder.

He bit back a smile. Silly Shuu-chan.

He closed his eyes and went back to sleep.


	5. A First Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg guys i'm sorry for my lack of uploads
> 
> I just got my temporary instructional driving permit! Driver's ed has been kind of keeping me, but it ends in abt two weeks and i don't have class on Fridays so chapters should post faster.
> 
> Thank you for continued support of the piece!

Shuichi yawned, blinking and opening his eyes gently as the morning sun pierced through his eyelids. His neck felt kinda stiff, as if he had been lying on a surface uncomfortable for it. Further inspection proved that he did exactly that, as he'd fallen asleep on Kokichi's shoulder.

When it hit him what he'd done, his face went red faster than the drop of a hat. He covered his stupid grin feebly as his face flushed.

_Wait. Why am I getting so worked up over this? He's just a friend, right?_

His eyes skated over the sleeping Kokichi. Sunlight dusted his pale features, shining off of the tip of his nose, his cheeks, eyelashes and hair, and the rest of his face seemed warmer in the natural light. His purple hair fanned his face gently and tumbled over his nose, soft and shiny, and his small mouth was only ever slightly ajar, his lips looking soft and-

_Shit. I wanna kiss him._

_He let his walls down and I want to kiss him and protect all of the soft parts he let me see._

If it was possible, Shuichi's face would've gotten even more flushed.

_Oh my god, I have feelings for Kokichi Ouma. Oh my god._

For a while, he sat there, watching the other boy doze on, just drinking in the general serenity of the room. Judging by the dark circles underneath his eyes, the other boy didn't get much sleep the first night after he awoke, and from what he heard Kokichi didn't sleep much during the game either, so it relieved Shuichi to witness his undeniable peace in slumber (without a bulky VR headset on his head).

However, as Kokichi snored on, Shuichi started to get hungry. He figured he should go get breakfast, so reluctantly he chose to return to his room and get changed, and go for breakfast.

He sat up, careful to not jolt Kokichi awake, and got off the chair he was sitting in. He made to leave, but paused.

He smiled slightly, and brushed the hair away from Kokichi's face, careful not to wake him, and pressed a light kiss to his nose.

He jumped back in alarm just in case Kokichi woke up, but to his relief, no such thing happened. Kokichi slept on unfettered, waking for no man or tornado siren. 

With another fond smile, Shuichi slipped out of the room, careful not to slam the door as it clicked shut behind him.

* * *

 The cool water running over Shuichi did little to chase the thoughts out of his head, but for once, he wasn't particularly complaining about it, as his thoughts were less self-depreciating and more of the quiet flutter of Kokichi's eyelids as the sunlight skated across them.

With a quiet, contented hum he let the water drip to nothing as he quickly shuffled the towel through his dark hair, letting it hang as he slipped on his boxers. He paused at his unsightly appearance in the bathroom mirror, sighing at the razor cuts that were the result of his careless shaving job, and turned back to his clothes.

His legs stung as he pulled his sweatpants up and the fabric brushed against the nicks. Hissing with pain, he hastily tied the waistband and grabbed some ointment, covering the more painful spots.

A part of him told him he deserved it. Deserved the pain, this pain that would never compare to how his friends suffered, to how Kokichi suffered-

but the way Kokichi let him hang onto him as he cried reminded him that he was allowed to make mistakes.

 Shuichi sighed, and pulled his hoodie over his head, and then, turning to his mirror again, carefully applied his eyeliner and mascara. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he particularly enjoyed how long and full his eyelashes looked with mascara on (and he especially enjoyed how confused Kaede got over his and Rantarou's well-kept lashes).

With quiet conviction he made to depart from his room for breakfast.

* * *

Or at least he would've, if he hadn't heard someone sobbing quietly in a room down the hall.

He'd overheard them as he walked past; on closer inspection he realized it was Kokichi.

When he first opened his door he couldn't exactly place where the boy was. It took him a second to register he was sprawled haphazardly on the floor of the room, weeping.

When he acknowledged Shuichi's presence, Kokichi hiccuped and moved his feeble, fresh off the press arms in an attempt to hide his face, but because of the muscle failure he experienced in the sim, he was unable to do so properly. "Why don't they work...?" Kokichi pleaded, letting out a watery chuckle at his desperate situation. "I can't get up, Shuichi. Isn't that sad?"

Shuichi dropped to Kokichi's side and moved his head into his lap, brushing Kokichi's amethyst locks of hair out of his face, running through them gently with his long, thin fingers. As Kokichi registered the soft touches the ex-detective was providing him, glassy tears slipped past his eyes and he left himself go, sobbing wantonly in Shuichi's care. 

After a while, Shuichi squeezed Kokichi's hand reassuringly, and Kokichi's crying petered out into broken hiccups. Shuichi helped him sit up and rubbed circles into his back through his gown as he hiccuped, each one rocking his entire frame. Eventually this too, passed, and the two boys were left in their silence, the taller's arms wrapped lovingly around the torso of the shorter.

"Do you," Shuichi asked quietly, "want to go get some breakfast?"

"I can't move, Shuichi," Kokichi muttered tiredly, his voice breaking as a forgotten tear rolled over his cheek. "What good would it do?" He clumsily brushed his disobedient hand over his face to wipe it away, missing it by several inches. He hiccuped again, as if to somehow prove his point.

The other boy wiped it off Kokichi's cheek with his thumb, getting at what he was trying to accomplish himself. "I can get you there," he offered. "I can carry you, or we can get a wheelchair for you."

"No, Shuichi, it's fine, you don't have to-"

Shuichi frowned and made to scoop Kokichi in his arms. The boy was light, but Shuichi wasn't that strong, so his arms and legs shook with the effort. Kokichi yelped and half-heartedly tried to link his arms around Shuichi's neck, but they disobeyed him and landed on his shoulders.

"Nah, I think I have to, 'Kichi. Being holed up won't help, and I'd know." With considerable effort he made his way to the door, and pushed it open lightly.

They bumped into Kirumi on the way there, both going red as she looked over them quietly, her stare blank and unreadable. After a minute she paused and went, "I can get Kokichi a wheelchair, if that's what he needs."

Shuichi sighed in relief and Kokichi shrieked in alarm as his shoulders sagged. "Shuichi, be careful!" he yelped, and Shuichi murmured his apologies as he sunk to his knees. A couple moments later Kirumi returned with the chair, and Shuichi helped the other boy get situated.

The three of them made their way to the hall, Shuichi pushing Kokichi's chair (Kirumi offered, of course, but Shuichi decided to do the job himself). The maid opened the door for them, and the three slipped in.

Everyone was there already, and were engrossed in their own conversations, but when they saw Kokichi, they broke into bouts of yelling. With alarm, the boys realized it wasn't friendly yelling. 

Tsumugi ran over in alarm. "They were like this when I woke up, too!" she gasped, looking incredibly guilty. "I guess some of your lies ended up turning into their personal truths, and they took them seriously. I'm sorry, Kokichi."

Shuichi looked down at his friend in alarm, who sighed and tiredly muttered, "nishishi, it's to be expected from an evil person like me." Kokichi hid his head in his nearest palm and fluttered his eyes shut, as if he was hoping to avoid it all, and Shuichi felt guilty.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" he yelled angrily, surprising himself. The twelve other students looked up in shock at the unexpected power in Shuichi's voice. He glared at them.

He smiled evenly once he got their attention. It was about time he had a talk with the group. "Remember when you first woke up? It was probably pretty scary. Thirteen of us woke up wondering why we weren't dead. Three of us, including me, woke up thinking we were kidnapped, or forced into a new killing game."

"Now imagine," he began, "if you woke up, and learned that everyone who you considered anywhere close to a friend was there to experience this with you, only to walk in and they scorned you."

"That kinda sucks, doesn't it?"

Shuichi sighed. "Well, you just did that to Tsumugi, and now Kokichi."

The group murmured their assent and, ashamed, turned back to their breakfast in silence.

Tsumugi grimaced at the pained expression on Kokichi's face. "We give them too much credit, don't we?" she muttered. "They're all still high-schoolers, they all can still be jackasses when they want to be." She quietly returned to her spot in the middle of the table, returning to her solitude.

 Shuichi and Kirumi helped Kokichi sit at the head of the table, and Kaede grimaced and moved to the other side of Rantarou, who smiled apologetically at them. Kirumi, once freed of her work, returned to her own spot; Shuichi muttered a "thanks" as she left. Kokichi wasn't crying, but he looked like he was forcing himself to hold back his own tears. Even like this, he was still putting up a front towards others.

"You're not evil," he whispered to the other boy. "You're not an evil person."

Kokichi nodded, and let Shuichi put a hand on his cheek. 

Soon, the food came their way, and Shuichi helped Kokichi eat it. The two ate in silence, but for them, that was all they needed.

Just each other in their self-made plastic wasteland.

* * *

_I hated myself more than anything._

_But you!_

_Loving you made me forget what hating myself felt like!_


	6. Talking to Someone (At Long Last)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THE DRAFT  
> I AM A HUMAN TRASHBIN DELETE ME
> 
> anyways i didn't know until i got a nice comment letting me know and a mean one insulting the short chapter
> 
> please don't harass me through the comment section /i don't like it/ 
> 
> thank you for listening to my ted talk

_The group flung open the hangar, ready to end this..._

_"...Shuu-chan?"_

_The hydraulic press was inches from his face. He looked at him quietly._

_"KOKICHI! NO!"_

_"Bye-bye, Shuu-chan."_

_A drop of blood hit Shuichi's cheek. He didn't notice over the sound of his own screaming._

* * *

Two hands were grabbing his shoulders, trying to ground him to this reality. He didn't notice over the sound of his own screaming.

"Shuichi! Shuichi! It's just me! Please calm down!" Kokichi pleaded, gently squeezing his shoulders. "I'm right here!"

Jolted out of his fear by his voice, he blinked, his eyes focusing on the other boy's face. 

"...'Kichi...?" he hiccuped, tears running down his face.

Kokichi smiled gently, his purple eyes glinting in the light. "It's me, it's ok, it's alright." He took his hand and used the pad of his finger to wipe the other boy's tears away; the movement was still awkward, but not as much as before. 

"I..." Shuichi breathed. "Kokichi, I... You were... There was the press and..."

Kokichi flinched at the mention of the press, but still kept smiling at him. "Shuu-chan, you were having a nightmare," he explained quietly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Shuichi shuddered. "We found the press like we did in the game, after lifting up the shutter? Except you weren't crushed yet and it was seconds away and i couldn't do anything and  _oh god i couldn't do anything"_

Shuichi wailed and grabbed onto Kokichi's shirt, sobbing into it. Kokichi stroked his hair, murmuring "it's ok" and "it's alright". He held him quietly, only letting go to lean over his wheelchair and grab Shuichi some tissues, squeezing his hand when he returned. Shuichi muttered his thanks as the purple-haired teen pressed them into his hands.

He wiped his eyes. Now that he was calmer, he gave the other a once-over. He was sitting in a wheelchair, a soft lilac blanket wrapped around his legs and feet. He had traded his hospital scrubs for some of his own clothing. He was wearing a large baggy black t-shirt, with thinner long sleeves underneath; topped off by his favorite checkered scarf. His hair, neatly brushed, shone with health. It warmed Shuichi's heart to see that Kokichi was taking care of himself(he couldn't really say the same). 

Something confused him. "Kokichi, if I may ask," he inquired, "how did you even get in here? It must have been a chore to wheel yourself in whilst propping the door open."

Kokichi grinned. "Ah, my beloved Shuu-chan exposed me!" His tone was light and merry. "As soon as I heard you yelling, I got myself in this chair and I actually asked Amami-chan for help. He's much nicer than Harukawa and Kaito-kun. In fact, I think he's still out in the hall." He leaned over and called, "You can come in now, bitch."

The door opened, and Rantarou appeared, chuckling. "You got me, Ouma." He sat down in a chair next to him. "This little shit smacked his hands on my bedroom door, yelling something on the lines of 'if you don't open this door and help me, avocado boy, i'll cut off your creepy double ahoge as soon as I can walk by myself.' I don't hold grudges, so I decided to help. Are you alright?"

Shuichi nodded. "I'm fine now. Thank you, Rantarou, Kokichi. It was nice getting help."

Kokichi grinned happily, and squeezed his hand. "Anything for my beloved Shuu-chan!"

Shuichi's heart skipped a beat. He secretly loved it when Kokichi called him Shuu-chan. "Please keep calling me Shuu-chan," he whispered. "It's nice."

Kokichi flushed. "Mmhm. Do you wanna go and get breakfast?"

"Yeah. I'd like that." 

Rantarou grinned. "Just kiss already!"

* * *

After Shuichi put on a hoodie and did his eye makeup, the three of them went to the cafeteria, Kokichi wheeling himself down the hall. They talked excitedly about their upcoming breakfast, Rantarou laughing the whole way.

Today, when they arrived, everyone proved to be much more hospitable to Kokichi. Maybe it was Shuichi's lecture, or maybe the initial shock of seeing him awake finally wore off, but everyone was kinder and waved as they arrived. The only outliers were Kaito and Maki, but it was to be expected. 

Their morning meal that day was piles upon piles of fluffy pancakes and waffles, paired with delectable toppings; syrups, powdered sugar, butter, jams, whipped cremes, chocolate chips and all sorts of fruits. Kokichi piled his plate high with the most sugary pastries and toppings he could get his hands on; by contrast, Shuichi settled for exactly two pancakes with butter. Using Tsumugi's absence, Kaede sneakily leaned over the table and arranged her strawberries into a heart on the teal-haired girl's plate. The breakfast was absolutely delicious, and Shuichi swore he heard someone ask if it was made by Hanamura Teruteru. Kokichi had downed his fifth waffle when Tsumugi returned, looking nervous but excited.

"G-guys," she stammered, "I have a small announcement to make?"

Shuichi looked up from the final part of his pancake in interest. There Tsumugi was, her teal hair done in a bun, carrying some important-looking papers. 

"W-well," she started, "I've been trying to think of ways to help out around here, and my biggest concern has been mental health? A few of us, including myself, have been experiencing nightmares, and those who are not are still similarly rattled, even if it doesn't manifest in their sleeping subconscious."

"I can attest to that," Hoshi joked, and the table laughed and applauded appreciatively. Tsumugi smiled, reassured, and continued.

"Well, I was able to pull a few strings and spoke to the hospital staff," she summarized, "and for those who either need it or wish to utilize this, we are now permitted to schedule meetings with the hospital therapists."

There was a pause.

Then, the table broke into tumultuous applause. Those who were able to stand could, and Kaito, Miu, Kiibo and Angie ran up to hug her. Tenko grabbed Himiko and kissed her, and after they broke apart they hugged each other, overjoyed. Gonta ran up to hug Tsumugi a couple seconds later, and he pulled the whole group in a great big hug, lifting them off the ground with his strength. Hoshi, and likewise Kiyo, both wolf-whistled as they applauded the news. 

Excited, Shuichi, Kokichi, Rantarou and Kaede smiled at each other. Kaede side-eyed Tsumugi as the group hugging her made their way back to their seats.

"I wanna hug her," she mouthed at Shuichi. "But i dunno if it would be super awkward or not." She nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

Shuichi chuckled. "Go get her," he mouthed back.

Kaede nodded, and dashed out of her chair.

"Alright," Tsumugi started, "I've got papers here for you guys to sign up-"

She was interrupted by Kaede, who  _tackled_ her into a hug and kissed her full on the lips. Tsumugi went beet red and smiled gently. "Thank you," Kaede laughed, and Tsumugi wrapped her hands around the other girl.

"Get a room!" Kokichi yelled, and chuckles rocketed up the table.

Tsumugi walked back to the table, dazed, Kaede still holding onto her. "Schedule forms are here, yadda yadda yadda, et cetera, we're going to go find a room now."

And with that, the two girls left, leaving everyone else to their breakfast.

As soon as the door shut, the 14 teenagers converged on the table, and within seconds, all of the forms were gone.

* * *

One of the more necessary parts of Kokichi's day was his physical therapy. However, just because it was necessary didn't mean it was enjoyable. 

"Can you attempt to wiggle your toes for me?" the therapist asked.

Kokichi scowled. That was about one of the only things he  _could_ do right now, along with slightly bending his knees, and it irritated him to no end. He wiggled his toes to no abandon.

"Are you still experiencing difficulty moving your legs?"

" _Yes,_ " he growled. "Nothing has changed, do you think I'd still be in this chair if I wasn't?"

"Kokichi, she's just asking. I know you don't like talking about it but you've got to be nicer to her."

That's right. Shuichi came with him today. It did help his temper somewhat but he still didn't like it.

"Sorry, sorry," he breathed. "What are we doing today?"

The therapist smiled at him, but it felt really fake to Kokichi, cold and professional. "We're going to try and move your legs again today. Practicing the movement should help you regain control." She approached cautiously, as if she expected Kokichi to hit her or something of that nature. Shuichi's eyes narrowed as she came closer. "We're going to start by manually lifting and lowering your legs."

Kokichi shivered as she moved it. It felt foreign and unused, sort of like manually raising your ring finger. The muscles were there, and probably somewhat useable, but it felt out of his reach at the time. Shuichi, sensing his unease, put his hand on the other boy's shoulder in reassurance.

The process was repeated on the other side, and then once more on each side. Kokichi felt somewhere akin to a rubber band that was stretched out once too many times. His legs shook as Shuichi helped him up onto a bench.

"Now, we're going to have you try walking with the cane again," the therapist offered. She grabbed it off the bench and gave it to him; Kokichi's stomach felt like it was doing somersaults. "Mister Saihara, if you would please help Mister Ouma onto his feet?"

Kokichi clung to Shuichi desperately as the taller boy helped him onto his feet. His legs shook and he yelped as they attempted to give out. Sensing his instability, Shuichi held him tighter, refusing to let him fall. "Can you get a second cane, maybe?" Shuichi asked the therapist. In seconds, he had another one. Shuichi placed one in each of Kokichi's hands, and Kokichi leaned on them like two lifelines.

Shuichi's grip loosened once he saw his friend balancing. "I'm gonna let go now, alright?" he whispered. "If you need my help I'll be right here."

Kokichi nodded and screwed his eyes shut tightly as Shuichi's warm, firm hands left his side. When he didn't go crashing down to the floor immediately, he slowly opened them again.

Using the two canes, and the added support of his feet touching the ground, he stood! It was a bit wobbly, but he supposed this was better than the chair. He grinned suddenly, the gravity of this achievement hitting him. He was standing!

He tested moving one of the canes forward. He let his slight weight shift to this new adjustment, and tried moving the other. He had to hop slightly, but he moved forwards. 

 _This is thrilling!_ Kokichi thought to himself, brimming with excitement.  _I'm moving by myself! I'm walking!_

He dared to look at Shuichi's face now, and he didn't regret it. The  _pride_ he saw in the golden-hazel eyes of the boy he trusted so much set him on fire. The smile was so inviting. This made it worth it. Shuichi saw his gaze and opened his arms wide, beckoning him. Kokichi smiled without abandon, limping his way over to the other boy as fast as the canes could take him. He let Shuichi catch him and spin him around in a hug. 

"Shuu-chan!" he crowed joyously. "I did it, Shuu-chan, I did it!"

"I'm so happy, 'Kichi!" Shuichi replied with equal excitement. "I'm so proud."

The physical therapist, ignored by the pair, chose this moment to speak up. "If you wish to, you can take the canes with you, or you can remain in the chair until our next session. I'd cut it off here, because we made a lot of progress today. What would you like to do?"

Kokichi smiled, a determined look in his eyes. "Give me the canes."

* * *

Walking down the hall for the first time, Kokichi decided that he didn't regret going to physical therapy after all.

 He regret it even less when Shuichi let him crawl under the covers with him, whispering, "I'm so proud of you, 'Kichi."

All in all, he'd mark this day as a success. And that wasn't a lie.


	7. Things Get Better; Just Agonizingly Slowly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They do. It just gets too painful to wait for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi sorry for slacking
> 
> ahaha
> 
> i was in a spanish class with the person i love, y'know? and yesterday was the last day of the class
> 
> sooo yeah that sucks

A knock on the door had Shuichi awake in a flash. Today it was cloudy, and the natural light streaming through his room was a little cooler. However, the arms wrapped around him were anything but cold.

He smiled at Kokichi warmly, who was fast asleep in his arms, snoring softly. His purple hair had gotten a bit disorganized, but he still looked adorable, messy hair or combed hair. In contrast, when he reached up to flatten his own hair, he could feel how it defied gravity and refused to adhere to his head, mussed by the static electricity generated by rolling around in bed. Kokichi hadn't moved, so what had woken Shuichi up?

There was another knock on the door, and a voice yelling "I know you're awake, Shuichi! Me and Maki Roll are gonna take your dumb ass to breakfast, since the grape gremlin keeps hogging you every other time of the day!"

_Kaito? Oh my GOD. What's he gonna do when he sees Kokichi? This looks suggestive, I can't make an excuse for this..._

Kokichi stirred then, the astronaut's voice disturbing his sleep. "Shuu?" he whispered sleepily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "What's the matter?"

Kaito smacked on the door again. "You got 30 seconds! I'm gonna pull the covers right off of you, dude! Holing up in your room isn't healthy, we've been over this!"

"Motherfuck," Kokichi cursed, eyes snapping open, his questions answered. "We aren't getting out of this unless we,  _yawn,_ act fast. Quick, hide me under the bed."

Shuichi blanched. "Kokichi! I'm not stuffing you under my bed! That'll hurt your spine. Let's just-"

Kaito chose this moment to slam the door open, and with a yell of "WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEAD!" he barged into the room, and stopped dead.

"Boi."

Maki slunk in after her extroverted boyfriend, yawning. When she caught sight of Kokichi, she stopped dead mid-yawn.

"H-hey guys, long time no attempted murder, nishishi!" Kokichi crowed, trembling slightly in Shuichi's grip.

Kaito wheezed.

"Bro, bro, I didn't need to see this," he howled. "I know you're supposed to cuddle and shit after you do it but at least warn a dude!" He grabbed a chair for support, laughing harder than Shuichi had ever seen him laugh. He then started coughing on his own laughs, and Maki was over in a flash, patting his back as he helplessly wheezed from pure mirth. The assassin glared at the pair.

"Nononono, it's not what it looks like!" Shuichi explained rapidly, face bright red. "We aren't even dating, dude, he just stayed the night! We didn't do anything last night, come on!" 

Kokichi grinned. "But I bet my beloved Shumai wanted too~" he chanted, flattening Shuichi's messy bangs over his eyes with his hand. "I bet you're thinking of doing nasty things now that the Space Idiot brought it up, nishishi."

"Space Idiot?!" Kaito choked indignantly, still leaning over the chair.

"I wasn't! I don't do stuff like that!" Shuichi hid his beet red face in his hands, embarrassed. 

Kokichi frowned, disappointed, but it disappeared as soon as it came. "I believe you, Shuu-chan. I'm the liar here, after all. Isn't that right, Momota-kun, Harumaki-chan?" He leaned over and grinned at the couple, an evil glint in his eye.

" _Don't_ call me Harumaki," Maki scowled.

Kaito sighed, scratching his goatee. "You two already have  _pet names_ for each other. I can't believe you didn't do anything."

"We didn't, Kaito, honest," Shuichi reassured him.

"Alright," the astronaut conceded. "If you say so, I'll believe you. I don't think I've ever heard you lie once, Shuichi."

"Ehehe, yeah..."  _except the times where I had to lie to progress the trails, those kinda sucked..._

"Anyways, why were we here, breakfast?" Kaito offered. "Get the gremlin into his chair or something, and we'll go down to eat something, ok?"

Kokichi grumbled. "I take offense to the gremlin comment, and for your opinion, I can sorta walk with canes now, so no chair, nishishi!" He heaved himself to the side of the bed and wiggled his bare toes for the astronaut to see.

"Wow, yay, bravo, Mini Hitler can now chase us on a pair of sticks," Maki grumbled. "Can we get going? The more I have to stand near that shithead, the angrier I get." She grabbed Kaito's arm protectively, as if she would push him behind her to shield him if Kokichi were to do something. 

Shuichi pinched his brow, wincing at her comments. "No, we can't just yet, we're not dressed or anything."

"Then clean up when you get back. It"s breakfast, nobody gives a shit."

Kaito patted him on the shoulder encouragingly. "If someone says something, I'll kick their asses, but you know these guys, nobody will. You look fine, Shuichi."

"Well, I gotta help Kokichi first, okay?" Shuichi reminded him. He grabbed the canes from the wall and brought them to Kokichi, who was waiting for them, arms outstretched.

"If you fall, yell for me, ok?"

Kokichi smiled, a real, genuine smile this time. "Alright." 

Shuichi went to comb his hair, but over his shoulder, he smiled as Kokichi got to his feet, Kaito swearing and giving him a fist-bump. Maki looked less than impressed, but that was just Maki, right...?

It didn't matter.

* * *

The small group carelessly made its way down the hall, Maki at the front of the pack, refusing to look at any of them. Behind her was Kaito, who cheered Kokichi on as he hobbled after him, grinning widely. Shuichi finished off the group, catching Kokichi when he stumbled. 

Shuichi smiled contently at the budding friendship between Kaito and Kokichi. He knew they somewhat were distant due to the...  _incident..._ that transpired in the game, but they did work together and Kokichi did work to make sure Kaito was able to shoulder Maki's blame. He wasn't surprised to see their sarcastic banter, and he was happy that Kaito wasn't too mad at him for sticking around Kokichi.

And he was even more glad that Kaito didn't care to bother him when Kokichi slipped his hand into Shuichi's, grinning up at him, using the other cane and Shuichi's weight to walk along next to him.

* * *

"Man, whoever cooks this shit is talented as fuck," Miu remarked, digging into the bacon that was today's morning meal. They had bacon, sausages and links, with toast on the side, all seasoned with pepper. (Except for the toast, of course, that had butter and jam.) "I swear eating this is like having an orgasm except just with your tastebuds!"

"That's what you'd think, hoe!" Kokichi crowed. Maki shot him a death glare, but the small boy didn't notice. "Do you HAVE to make everything dirty?"

Miu stood up to respond, but suddenly, a thin hand grabbed her shoulder.

Kiyo grinned at her, the lipstick he was wearing failing to mask the sinister nature of his smile. "Do tell me how you experience this phenomenon," he began in an interested voice. "I am astounded by this new revelation of a human experience. Does it actually give you pleasure, or is the taste just pleasurable? Does it make you want to melt in its heat or does it make you feel like you're soaring? Is it intense or mellow? If you were to compare it to a carnal action, would you consider it as something vanilla or something not so innocent?"

Miu cringed and jumped. "You're some creep, Shinguuji."

"Kehehe. But you brought up the subject," Kiyo reminded her. "Humanity is beautiful. I wish to investigate this. Was this a consensual relationship? Do you think you could have this as a long-term thing, like your affection for K1-B0? Or is this a one-time stand, something saucy? I must know all of it, every facet of this experience."

Ashamed, Miu shrieked and sat down, putting her head in her hands. 

The whole table applauded.

Kiyo took a bow, and promptly crawled into the vent, returning to his room. Through the walls you could hear him barely suppressing his laughter.

"A real MVP, that one is," Kaede snickered, holding on to Tsumugi, who was wailing with laughter.

Gonta smiled. "Gonta doesn't know what Kiyo did, but if Gonta's friends are happy, so is Gonta," he remarked, smiling. "Gonta likes it when friends are happy. Here, Gonta has extra toast, if anyone wants it."

Ryoma leaned over and grabbed three off of Gonta's plate.

* * *

Shuichi's heart hammered as he knocked on the door of the office. He knew he needed to talk to someone. He knew this was right. He knew there was nothing to be afraid of.

But he was still afraid of what they'd say.

Kokichi smiled at him reassuringly. "Hey," he murmured. "If you're worried, don't be. These people are here to listen to you and help you, alright? Nothing you say will be used against you in any way. I think what we all need is someone to talk to right now. If you want, I can stay out in the hall while you meet with the therapist, and then go in after."

Shuichi shook his head. "No. Please stay with me. I think I'd be even more nervous without."

"Alright. You can tell me to leave at any time, ok?"

"Yeah."

The door swung open, and a man in his early thirties appeared on the other side. He had long brown hair pulled up in a messy bun, one olive green eye, and one striking red one. When he saw the two boys, he smiled kindly. To Shuichi, it seemed like the most real smile he'd ever seen.

"You're Shuichi Saihara and Kokichi Ouma, correct?" he asked. His voice was clear and confident. "You're right on time. I'm Dr. Hajime Hinata, and I'm helping as a therapist for the time being. Come on in, and sit down."

Shuichi shuffled into the room, Kokichi hobbling along behind him. Dr. Hinata's room didn't look permanently inhabited, but it was already a mess, like his man-bun. He had pictures of a guy with messy white hair on his shelves, a shit ton of files on his desk, and various puzzles and projects scattered on shelves and tables. However, the blue couch at the center of the room was easily accessible, and very comfy-looking. It had white wooden trim, and white pillows that looked like clouds leaned up against the armrests. The blue couch put Shuichi somewhat at ease.

The pair sat down, and Dr. Hinata returned to his chair. "They called me here to help you guys because I was in a sim called the Neo World Program several years back. Saihara, I'm assuming you heard about it in your sim, but Ouma, I don't think you know about it. Back then me and my friends were stuck in a similar sim, but it got hacked, and we were forced into a killing game."

Kokichi flinched. "That sucks, man."

"We made our way out." Dr. Hinata sighed. "But before I got in I was used as a research subject to try and fabricate Ultimate Talents. It's my fault that you all were given a talent, because I was given all of them as Izuru Kamukura. Hence the Ultimate Therapist, and why they gave me this job.

"If there's anything I can assure you straight from the start, it's that you can and will recover from this." His voice was firm and confident. "Some people take more time than others, but how long it takes does not matter. What matters more is that you can get through this eventually."

"Oh yeah, before I forget," Kokichi asked. "What's with your fuckin hair?"

"Kokichi!"

Dr. Hinata grinned. "Ah, yes, the hair. Me and Izuru decided to compromise. He wanted it long, I wanted it light. So here we are."

* * *

"So where would you like to start?" Dr. Hinata asked kindly, leaning on his chair. 

Shuichi took a shuddering breath. "I'm nervous, but I guess I have to do this, huh?"

"It's ok, take your time."

"Well," Shuichi began, squeezing Kokichi's hand hand, "I guess it started in the game. Actually, it might've been before the game, too, but I'm not sure. When it began, I was pretty close with Kaede, and when she was executed, it felt guilty. Every time a student died, I'd feel guilty, as if I was the one that killed them. I still feel guilty."

Kokichi leaned onto his shoulder, and whispered, "it's ok, continue."

"And, I survived, and I felt e-even more guilty. I lived, and people who deserved life more didn't, and I felt as if by surviving I had stolen their chances away. And the next thing I knew I was awake and people who died in the sim before me awoke after me and it was unfair. I should have woken up last, I should have been the one unable to walk or full of debilitating fear," Shuichi muttered. "And I felt powerless to help anyone out of this. I was supposed to be a leader and I shut myself away from everyone and it came to a point where Kaito had to drag me out of my room just so I'd go and see another human being.

"I've gotten a bit better, I suppose. I've gone to breakfast, but only because the people around me wanted to. I just, I sit at that table and I feel so damn  _useless_ and I don't think I have any damn worth because if I did I would have done something before they felt the experience of being  _murdered_ and left with more bruises than needed, and it's my damn fault."

He was crying now.

Dr. Hinata put a hand on Shuichi's shoulder, and Kokichi slipped his arms around his waist, burying his nose in the tall boy's spine. "Can you look at me for a second?" the counselor asked politely.

Shuichi raised his head to meet the heterochromatic gaze of the older man.

"It is absolutely  _not_ your fault," he said firmly. "There was nothing you could do. You were forced into a situation you didn't want to be in, one that you didn't have control over. You are not to blame, and chances are, your classmates don't blame you either."

Kokichi grinned at Shuichi. "I don't blame my Shumai. It wasn't his fault, see?"

Shuichi felt tears slip down his cheeks, but for once, he was smiling.

_Thank you._

* * *

Kokichi tightened his grip on Shuichi as heterochromatic eyes peered at him. The green one he could handle; the therapist's red eye seemed to be staring straight into his soul, reading each and every thought he had.

"Pathological lying, huh?" Hinata repeated to himself, in order to receive confirmation. "That, and some of the stuff before, like the boredom and the lack of restraint, sounds a lot like antisocial disorder, but I can't be certain right now."

"Does that mean I'm crazy...?" Kokichi whispered, trying his hardest to avoid the therapist's gaze. "If I've got this disorder?"

"No, you're not crazy," Hinata assured him. "My husband's about as crazy as they get, and you're nowhere near that point."

Shuichi squeezed his shoulders. "You're not. Don't say stuff like that, ok? When you hear it from yourself you're more likely to believe it. I personally don't think you're crazy at all."

"Mmhm." Kokichi turned his face into Shuichi's shirt, refusing to look at anyone. "If that's what you say."

"Anyways," Hinata interjected, "you've both been a pleasure to talk to. I need to get Saihara a prescription for antidepressants, so that'll come in in a day or two, but for now you're free to go, alright? If we're as lucky as my husband I might see you both around the halls before your next visit."

"What do you mean by 'lucky as your husband'?" Shuichi asked politely. "Also, thanks again for the meds."

Hinata chuckled. "Nagito is considered the Ultimate Luck. He goes on about how his luck is a cycle but in my opinion we get mostly good luck nowadays so I think we might've escaped it. It's our inside joke. I'm sorry for confusing you."

"No, it's fine." Shuichi gave Kokichi his canes, and helped him to his feet. "Thanks again!"

"No problem," Hinata called after them as they headed to the door. "Take care!"

The door shut behind them with a satisfying click. Shuichi turned to Kokichi. "Do you have the time?"

Kokichi glanced up. "Clock there says it's three in the morning, Shuu-chan! Boy, we're up early!"

"It's only noon, that's a lie, but thanks for finding the clock," Shuichi corrected. "Would you like to get lunch?"

"Yeah. I'd like that."

* * *

Hajime sighed and picked up one of the cloud pillows off the floor and gently set it back on his couch with a smile. Those kids were something, he supposed, but they seemed to really care about each other. He found himself interested in their dynamic.

_According to modern pop culture, this is what shipping is._

_Jeez, Izuru, when did you fucking care about pop culture? Last time I checked you were more concerned about how fucking bored you were at the hospital, christ._

_According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. The bee, of course, doesn't care. It keeps on flying anyways._

_Izuru you motherfucker-_

Hajime's conversation with himself was cut short by a knock on his door, and a tall, white-haired man in a knit turtleneck sweater slipping in. Nagito came and wrapped his arms around Hajime's waist, smiling contently.

"Komaeda," Hajime grinned, fluffing up his husband's hair. "How are the students enjoying the lunch you helped Teruteru with?"

Nagito snickered. "We've been married for 7 years now, I thought we were on first name basis? And even so, I'd be Hinata, not Komaeda."

"Ah, I apologise, I'm still not used to it, even after all this time. Izuru's reciting the bee movie script again and I got sidetracked."

"It's ok, love." Nagito hummed and moved his hands to play with Hajime's hair. "The kids still don't realize the food's cooked by Hanamura but they've brought his name up a couple times. It's still funny."

"Yeah, I suppose." Hajime scratched his neck. "Anyways, let me tell you about two of them. They'd make the cutest couple..."

* * *

Whatever had been served in the mess hall was very easy to smell from here. You could just get hints of oregano and cheeses, probably something italian. When the two boys arrived, they were able to confirm this suspicion. The meal of the day was tortellini in pesto with cheese. 

Eyes glowing, Kokichi hobbled over as fast as he could in his excitement, and swung into his chair, piling his plate with as many noodles as he could fit. He waved to Shuichi, who meandered over to the table between him and Rantarou..

"Finally, some good fucking food," Rantarou remarked as he sat down, fork full of tortellini. "This is delicious. Seriously, get some." He offered a plate to Shuichi, who took it and filled it with the dish.

He turned back to Kokichi, who was three-quarters the way through his meal. Noticing pesto on his chin, he made to wipe it off with his thumb. Quietly, he wiped it away, and left his hand on his cheek.

"Alright, that's fucking it," a voice called, and boots met the pair with Maki. "Ouma, can I talk to you for a fucking minute?"

Shuichi and Kokichi looked at each other in confusion for a minute, and eventually the latter shrugged. "Whatever, dude, I won't keep you waiting." Maki stormed off to the corner and Kokichi slung his canes and followed.

"Alright," Kokochi started jauntily, "What's eating you? A murder attempt, nishishi?"

Maki's eyes narrowed.

"What kind of demon spell have you put on Shuichi, huh? You've fucking stolen him from us."

"I don't know what you're-"

"Bullshit. He's literally  _everywhere_ with you. You two signed up for fucking therapy together. Shuichi and Akamatsu switched seats so he could sit next to you. Knowing you, you're not up to anything good, so what's your motive?" Her red eyes sliced ribbons through Kokichi's soul with her gaze.

He shivered and backed away from her. "Harukawa, I don't have any motive-" 

But out of reflex, her hand shot out and fixed itself around Kokichi's neck, lifting him into the air. The two canes he was balancing on clattered to the floor as his hands spasmed from the shock. He could hear Kaito and Shuichi yelling, and he forced himself to look down at Maki, his head spinning.

"Oh fuck yeah, choke me harder," he moaned in a falsetto.

Her gaze was as intense as the strength of her fingers. "I bet that bullshit about not being able to walk was a lie too, wasn't it?" she seethed. "I bet you were just playing Shuichi's pity to get some attention. Come on, answer me." She shook him in her grasp.

Kokichi's gaze blurred.

"Maki Roll, NO!" Kaito yelled, and tackled her. (Was that Kaito? Kokichi couldn't really see him, his vision was really blurry.) Kokichi, dislodged from her grip, fell to the floor and crumpled. The couple fell to the floor in a heap, the momentum of Kaito's tackle sending them downwards. 

In seconds, Kokichi could feel hands propping him up and brushing his hair out of his face. "Oh god, oh god, are you alright?" Shuichi asked him breathlessly. "You don't look so good, oh fuck..."

He raised his arm to find Shuichi and blinked, his vision clearing up a bit. Shuichi grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "I'm fine," he croaked out. "I don't think Maki is, though."

Shuichi tore his gaze from the dulled purple eyes beneath him and looked up.

Kaito and Maki had risen from the floor, Maki staring at her hands in shock and horror, Kaito hugging her tightly. "What the hell have I just done...?" she whispered. "What did I do, what have I done? Oh my god, I couldn't even control myself..."

She sunk to her knees and started to weep; Kaito held her in his arms.

Kokichi smiled quietly. "When they said some people developed PTSD," he murmured, "they weren't lying, were they...?"

"How do you know that's PTSD? I wouldn't assume..." Shuichi frowned and began helping Kokichi to his feet, who stumbled.

Kokichi and Shuichi walked over to where the canes were, the shorter boy balancing on the taller boy carefully. When Shuichi gave him the canes, he smiled confidently. "Just a guess." He winced as his neck stung.

"You've got bruises on your neck now. Can we go bandage these up?" Shuichi offered, holding out his hand to the now-standing Kokichi. "I'd like to get out of here myself."

"Yeah," Kokichi replied, "that'd be smart. Let's go." They slipped out of the dining hall quietly, unnoticed by anyone, everyone all fixated on Maki's crisis.

* * *

 

They gracelessly stumbled into Kokichi's room. Shuichi helped Kokichi onto his bed, and rushed to the bathroom, relieved to find a first-aid kit. He grabbed some ointment and gauze and returned to the room.

"Yay, Shumai gets to take care of me again!" Kokichi crowed, obviously in a better mood. "Be careful it's not too tight."

"Mmhm." Shuichi hummed in assent and lightly set to work. It wasn't the greatest job, but it did its purpose, so Shuichi was satisfied. He put the stuff away, and on his way back, grabbed a book off of Kokichi's bookshelf.

"A book? Really?" Kokichi yawned.

Shuichi sat on the bed next to him. "I dunno, thought it would help pass the time." He opened to the first page. "This book is about a detective and a phantom thief. They chase around each other for ages, and eventually reach a conclusion. I'm not gonna spoil it for you, it's interesting."

Kokichi leaned up next to Shuichi. "Alright, I'm game. Wanna start?"

"Mmhm." He took a deep breath.

"The water dripped down the side of the gutter, creating a soft melody that reverberated around the small office," he began. "The boy detective sat in his chair, watching the rain fall outside his window..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how tf do you write dialogue
> 
> but yeah i miss my boy 
> 
> like? he was an amazing human being and i'm not gonna like not being in a class with him anymore because we'll never have the chance to talk
> 
> ahaha this sucks


	8. Newer, More Exciting Methods of Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I NEED TO STOP PROCRASTINATING O H M Y GOD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been slacking, forgive me father for i have sinned  
> I mean my every limb hurtie but still

"Maaan, what a bore," Kokichi whined. "I woke up suuuper early just for you, Shuu, and you can't even come to breakfast with little ol me?"

Shuichi blearily looked at his friend. "It's like 6 am, Kokichi. I want to sleep in more, ok? I'm *yawn* not that much of a morning person."

"Then what shall I do until my sleeping prince awakes, nishishi?" 

"You could play solitaire," Shuichi offered, gesturing to his shelf. "I've got a couple packs of cards."

Kokichi thought about it, leaning on his canes haphazardly. He seemed to have gotten stronger as of lately, and it thrilled Shuichi. He could imagine how excited his friend would be once he could walk by hinself. It made Shuichi happy, imagining Kokichi happy.

"Ah! I got it," Kokichi replied cheerfully, sending Shuichi's train of thought tumbling into the gorge, killing all of the passengers. "I'll just have to take a nap with Shumai instead, ok?"

"Kokichi, you don't have to, you could go get breakfast by yourself if you wanted to," Shuichi stammered, going bright red.

"Nah! Shuichi shouldn't have to eat alone, ok? Get ready, my toes are cold!"

Shuichi sighed and grinned, moving the covers so he could help Kokichi hoist himself onto Shuichi's bed. Kokichi wriggled under the covers and hugged Shuichi. Kokichi was warm. "Your toes aren't cold at all," he noted lightly.

"Ahaha, you got me!" Kokichi replied. "That was a lie! I'm trying, but I just couldn't help myself on that one!"

"It was, admittedly, an easy opportunity." Shuichi chuckled, his breath nudging the soft purple hair perched on Kokichi's head. "I wouldn't have minded if your feet were cold, though. This is nice."

Kokichi looked up at him, red as a beet. "Don't lie to me like that!" he admonished. "Lying's my job!"

"But it's true."

"Whatever you say." Kokichi turned to hide his happy smile from Shuichi, burying his face in Shuichi's shirt. "Sweet dreams, Shuu-chan."

"Mmhm." Shuichi's eyes fluttered shut, and he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.

Suddenly, the two boys could hear something vibrating from over by Shuichi's bookshelf.

"Ooooo, does Shuu-chan have a dirty toy over there?" Kokichi teased, sitting up.

"No!" Shuichi playfully smacked him. "I have no idea what the fuck that is. That sounds like a phone vibration but I don't know for sure," he remarked, puzzled. 

He got up and approached the noise. It came from his duffel bag, where all of his clothes were. A minute's search revealed that he truly did own a phone, and someone was calling him. He hesitantly answered it.

"Hello?" He stammered. "This is Saihara Shuichi. Who is this?"

"Hey dude!" Kaito's voice rang over the phone. "Looks like this number wasn't a fake after all!"

"Kaito?! Wha- How'd you get my number? I didn't even know I owned a phone until just now!" Shuichi nearly dropped his phone in alarm. "It started making noises from my bag, and Kokichi thought it was a vibrator..."

He could hear Kaito laughing from the other end. "Ouma's with you, huh? I need to bother him anyways. Put me on speaker, will you?"

"...how do you do that?"

"Speaker icon on the screen."

Shuichi fiddled with the device, and located the button. He made his way back to Kokichi and sat down next to him.

"Ouma! Gotta ask you, dude. Who tops?" Kaito asked jovially.

"Wha, we're not in a relationship-"

Kokichi grinned. "I do," he assured him, cutting over Shuichi's protests.

"Kokichi!"

"I figured, Shuichi's a huge bottom. But in all seriousness," he added, "Maki wants to make it up to you, so I gotta ask, what kind of cake do you like?"

Kokichi let out a laugh, but Shuichi could tell that it was more of a sigh of relief. "Cookies and creme is nice, but I'll also take anything dark chocolate. Tell Harukawa-san thanks for me, ok?"

"Mmhm!" Shuichi could hear the genuine smile in Kaito's voice. "You two have fun, I'll text you if anything comes up, Shuichi. Miu, Rantarou and I are working to try and set up a group chat, so get the grape gremlin to find his phone."

"I'm not a gremlin, Momota-chan, I'm just  _fun sized-_ "

But Kaito had hung up.

"Well that was an experience," Shuichi remarked, breaking out of his shocked silence.

"Mmhm." Kokichi grinned and held out his arms. "Come back to bed so we can sleep until Harukawa-chan gets me that cake."

* * *

It was noon by the time they got up again. When Shuichi woke he was met with Kokichi smiling over him, watching him with those bright eyes of his. When he noticed Shuichi, he looked away quickly.

_I wish he'd keep on looking at me with that smile._

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," he murmured. "Did you sleep well?"

"Ah! I'm sorry for keeping you waiting," Shuichi apologized hurriedly. "How long were you up before me?"

"Why, three whole hours! Waiting was aaaaagony," Kokichi joked.

"Oh, I'm sorry-"

"That was a lie. Sleeping next to my beloved Shuu-chan let me sleep well. I only just woke up," Kokichi admitted.

Shuichi smiled. "Ah. You got me again."

"Mm. You're so gullible, Shuichi! Don't worry though, you're still very fun to talk to, so I'll overlook it." He hugged Shuichi again. "Let's go for lunch! Maybe Harukawa-san will have my cake."

Shuichi's stomach rumbled in agreement. "Great idea." He got out of bed, Kokichi still clinging to him like a koala. The extra weight made him wobble, but he reached the nightstand and grabbed Kokichi's canes.

"You can dislodge yourself now, you're heavier than I expected and I'm not cut out for this excercise."

"I don't wanna though," Kokichi whined. "Shuu-chan is very warm."

"I'm gonna fall, and you're going down with me," the taller boy warned.

"Fiiiine, but only to protect you." He took the canes and unceremoniously got to a standing position. "Anything you need to grab before we go?"

"Just my pills," Shuichi replied, pleased by the gesture of kindness. He grabbed his anti-depressants off the counter in his bathroom, and quickly did his eyeliner before he returned to see Kokichi.

Kokichi smiled. "Those are important. I don't want to see my Shuu-chan sad." He grabbed his hand. "Let's go!"

* * *

Before they went to the cafeteria, they stopped in Kokichi's room to find his phone. It was in the same spot as Shuichi's, with a lovely black and white checkered case. Kokichi grinned with delight when he saw it, turning it over in his hands with a sense of marvel.

 Miu was already preaching gospel by the time they arrived, showing a clueless Gonta and Kiibo how to use their phones. She'd somehow acquired a blackboard and all of their names and phone numbers were written on it in chalk paint.

"You two can sit down and wait until everyone's here," she told them as she saw them. "I want to explain the group chat to everyone at once. Feel free to get your food and eat it beforehand."

Shuichi quietly thanked her, and he and Kokichi sat down, Kokichi scooping that day's meal of pasta salad haphazardly onto his plate. Shuichi used his glass of water to take his pills for the day, and joined Kokichi in the act of getting his meal.

Maki returned to the cafeteria shortly after they finished their food, carrying a box that contained a small cake. She hesitantly approached them, and set it down in front of Kokichi gently.

"I know this isn't much of repayment for choking you twice, but here." She looked at the floor, her eyes memorizing the patterns on her shoes. "Sorry."

Kokichi looked up at her. "Where'd you get it?" he asked politely, a small grin on his face. "Thanks, by the way."

"No problem," Maki replied, letting out a sigh of relief. "The dude who's been making our food, Teruteru Hanamura, actually helped me with this. He's quite the chef."

"I knew Teruteru was the cook! I knew it!" Tsumugi yelled triumphantly, Kaede hugging her. "I friggin guessed it!"

"Mind your own business, Smurfette!" Kokichi yelled back. 

Shuichi wheezed. " _Smurfette,_ " he choked out between laughs.

"Mmhm, cuz her hair is blue?" Kokichi opened the box to reveal a beautifully made cookies and cream ice cream cake, with a cookie crust, covered in cookies, whipped creme and hot fudge. Shuichi's mouth watered. "Thank you for the cake, Harukawa-san. It looks very yummy. Let me get you a slice, ok?"

Maki gratefully accepted the slice from Kokichi and smiled as she bit into it. It must've been satisfactory. She quietly muttered her gratitude and returned to her spot next to Kaito, who took a fork and stole a piece.

"Everyone needs a piece, too!" Kokichi crowed, taking his butter knife to split the cake into five remaining pieces. "One for Amami-chan because he's nice, one for Shinguuji because  _gurl that lipstick be poppin',_ one for Akamatsu-chan and Shirogane-chan because they're nice to Shuichi, one for Kirumi because she's our hardworking mother," he offered, sliding the pieces down the table, "and one left for my beloved Shuu-chan!"

"No, no, it's your cake, you should eat it," Shuichi pressed, feeling guilty about taking the other boy's cake.

"Mmm... We'll share it, o-k?" Kokichi laughed, picking up his fork. He scooped a bit of ice cream on the end. "Say ah~."

Shuichi opened his mouth the slightest bit, letting the fork slip past his pursed lips. It really was an excellent cake, definitely worthy of being a Hanamura creation. He hummed as the rich, handmade ice cream assaulted his taste buds.

Kokichi frowned. "You're making noises as if that cake's doing dirty stuff to my Shuu-chan's tongue. Lemme have some." He scooped some for himself, and quickly bit into it. As he registered the taste, he froze, then melted into the taste as he let out a drawn-out moan.

"Kokichi!" Shuichi yelped. "You're doing this on purpose at this point, aren't you?!"

"Yep." Kokichi popped the p. "Although, I bet you'd rather get these noises out of me yourself, wouldn't you~?"

Shuichi gulped.

"Alright sluts, break it up! The gorgeous girl genius, Miu Iruma, us here to explain the group chat!" Miu's triumphant voice brought them both back to reality, and Shuichi mentally sent the inventor his thanks. "Get your phones out, because we're gonna get this party started!"

Grateful for the reprieve, Shuichi determinedly stared at his phone screen as his classmates rummaged through their stuff to find theirs. It took just a couple taps to unlock, and he was met with the generic background. He assumed this was his pre-game phone, and was immensely glad it was wiped to factory settings. He didn't want to know what sorts of things he saved to his phone back then. Judging by his apparent obsession with Danganronpa, he assumed nothing good.

"Alright, open up your messages! I've added everyone in already, so as soon as i send a message, you should be automatically added." A ding, and a message from Miu appeared. Shuichi wearily tapped the notif.

 **Miu Iruma:** What's poppin jimbo?

"Miu?" Rantarou asked warily, "can I just ask wHAT THE FUCK?"

Miu shrugged. "Is the meme dead already? Pity. Anyways, since you probably understand everything from here on out, you're free to go-"

"Hold on," Kokichi said ominously, his face devoid of emotion. "You've forgotten something."

"What did I forget?" Miu joked mockingly.

A smirk split across Kokichi's face.

"Chat names, of course."

 **Kokichi Ouma** changed the names of  **Kaede Akamatsu** and  **14 others.**

"Oh shit. What the hell have you done?" Miu yelped in alarm.

"Ohhhh, you'll see. You'll see. Have fun, everyone." Kokichi pushed his chair innand got up. "Shuichi, you coming with?"

An idea came to Shuichi's head.

"Just a minute, I gotta fix something first."

 **My Chemical Gay** changed  **Kokichi Ouma's** name to  **Pinocchio.**

"Shuichi! Betrayal!" Kokichi whimpered.

Shuichi laughed. "Sorry, 'Kichi. It's what you deserve. Nobody gets left out."

"Awwwww! I was gonna name myself God later though! I can't believe you've done this!"

Shuichi couldn't help it. He burst out into laughter that sung across the dining hall, revealing that at long last, he was truly happy.

* * *

 **ju poppin:** Ouma, why did you name me this?

 **ju poppin:** I see no resemblance to my current state and this name.

 **Pinocchio:** that lipstick. ju poppin. it fresh as hell.

***runtarous away*:**

***runtarous away*:** Shinguuji? is that you? holy shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also i miss lance and shit feels bad man
> 
> i wanna end each chapter with this group chat idea. Like it's not gonna take over the fic but it will be like fluff humor to counterract my shitty angst
> 
> like i'm feeling a bad mood rn so it might incorporate itself into my writing. I'll try to post once a week bt if i'm feelin shitty thet might come late
> 
> that is all


	9. On An Average Day We Still Find Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angie makes everyone get jiggy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have writers block if you have ideas i'll take em
> 
> like i have a general on how i want this to go but if you have any ideas for filler content i need themmm

**Pinocchio** and  **15 others** are currently online.

 **Pinocchio:** Good morning motherfuckers~ (✿◠‿◠)

 **Gremlin:** Fuck you too I was tryna get my beauty sleep OUMA

***runtarous away*:**

**My Chemical Gay:**

**Kaegay:**

**Kaegay:**...is that Hoshi? Ouma you know he's sensitive about his height. That's underhanded.

 **Pinocchio:** nooope guess again~

 **God Left:** The grape gremlin isn't lying this time, don't worry yourself Akamatsu.

 **Pinocchio:** i knew hoshi-chan's sensitive abt his height lolololol, i'm not that mean ಥ_ಥ

 ***runtarous away*:** then whomst-

 **FEMINISM.jpeg:** Himiko, babe, you've got to calm down, the idea of you swearing is still pretty alarming.

 **Gremlin:** nyeh... sorry tenko o(╥﹏╥)o

 **Gremlin:** wait SHIT

* * *

"Good morning, Saihara, Ouma!"

Shuichi opened his eyes blearily, rubbing at them to get the sleepies out. Kokichi stirred next to him and sat up, yawning. "Who...?" the shorter boy yawned.

Before them stood a very proud-looking Angie, covered in paint and carrying a large poster board. Kiyo and Rantarou stood behind the prophet, both wearing yellow sweaters. Kiyo had done his lipstick in gold today, and Rantarou had woven sunflowers in both of their hair. 

"HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK. How did you get in here i'm so done. I locked the door!" Shuichi shrieked. "And why are you all so... yellow?" Kokichi whimpered and clung to Shuichi, also alarmed.

"Because Atua says you two need to express your feelings and properly begin a relationship!" Angie crowed, positioning her hands above her head in prayer. Her beautiful raincoat fanned around her in a display of divinity that truly made her look as if the voice of a deity spoke in her ear.

"Yeahhh uhhh what feelings? N-none here, nope! I'm fine with just dealing with the sexual tension on my lonesome, thanks," Kokichi stammered. Shuichi went beet red. "Why are you really here?"

Kiyo sighed. "It appears you have seen through us. We were bored, so we decided to stage an arts festival in the lobby today. It seems that despite everything our good friend Angie has not lost her passion for the arts, and wished to share it with us all. Rantarou and I were excited to share in this, so we decided upon helping."

"Is nail painting considered an art?" Rantarou asked.

Angie was in thought for a minute, her beautiful sun-adorned poster falling out of her fingers and tapping the floor. "Atua says yes."

"Fucking sweet. Kiyo, let's go set this shit up, I'm gonna dazzle you."

The two tall boys hurriedly exited the room, Rantarou dragging Kiyo by the hand. Kiyo looked interested. Within seconds they were gone.

"Kiyo-chan be lookin at Ranty-chan like he's a SNACK!" Kokichi exclaimed excitedly. "I wanna see this develop! Shuu, help me find my canes."

"So yes, we're going," Shuichi finished for him. "It sounds exciting, Angie. Thank you for setting this up, it should really boost morale around here."

"Mmmhm. Angie will be pleased to see you there! Angie has more preparations to complete." She excited the room with a flourish as Kokichi leaned over the side of the bed and quickly snatched his canes off of the ground.

* * *

 **Not in My Good Christian Suburbs:** Ah, Angie forgot to mention! There will be a Festival of the Arts in the hospital's lobby, as Atua has willed it be! Please do enjoy yourselves.

 **ju poppin:** Also, Rantarou's doing nail art. I find it quite interesting to watch.

 **Space NEET 2.0:** couldn't u have texted us this shit b4 u woke up me n harumaki?? this wasn't necessary. harassment. also ouma why tf am i space neet 2.0? who was the original space neet? i'm confused

 **Pinocchio:** ohh, it's nothing u need to know abt momota-chan ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

 **Pinocchio:** Monaca said that if I didn't put a 2.0 on it she'd press copyright charges.

 **My Chemical Gay:** kokichi? you ok? you're typing in complete sentences

* * *

The lobby was absolutely stunning; you could see Angie's artistic talents in these decorations. The first thing to notice was all of the yellow. There was a partition concealing the other hallways, and it subsided of large yellow splatter paint murals propped up and used as a wall. There were all sorts of yellow flowers strung up on the walls and in pots; carnations, roses, and plumeria blossoms. Each pot was simple ceramic white, possibly handmade if you considered Angie capable (which she most certainly was). Among the flowers, faux butterflies were perched, of the monarch variety, each tiny spot handpainted on. There were lights strung on banisters and the edges of tabletops.

There were quite a few stands. There were several stacked high with foods, and every once and a while a shorter man with curly brown hair and a red scarf would refill the contents. This, Shuichi supposed, was Teruteru Hanamura, their chef. He could smell the mouthwatering, delectable food from here. There was a table covered in a sheet of paper and all sorts of paints; some of the teens had already put their names or little pictures on the canvas. There was a table where Angie had placed small 4 by 8 canvas paintings; almost as if she were selling them. However, nobody there had any money, so Shuichi supposed he was free to take one. He'd have to stop back there later. There was Rantarou's nail art stand, where he currently was, Kiyo leaning over his shoulder. There was a makeshift stage where currently a woman in a kimono with blond ponytails was currently dancing, and finally, a photo booth, where a woman with short, apple red hair was waiting, holding a camera.

"Shuu-chan!" Kokichi yelled, pointing at the photo stand. "Let's go there first!" The other boy had linked himself around Shuichi's arm, smiling gleefully. Shuichi was grateful for the warmth the other boy provided, even if he was a bit flustered.

They made their way over to the stand. The woman waved cheerfully as they approached. She looked very friendly, and was wearing an earth-toned sweater and brown business pants. A camera bad was slung over her shoulder haphazardly.

"Hello! I'm Mahiru Koizumi, and you two must be Kokichi Ouma and Shuichi Saihara, correct?" she inquired. "I'll take photos of you two together if you want. You're such a cute couple!"

"We're not-" Shuichi stammered.  _We're not dating... although it kind of feels like it, doesn't it? Maybe I should ask him out. Oh, but what if I get rejected? I don't want to make things awkward..._

Kokichi interrupted him. "Thank you so much! We'll take photos with you."

"Splendid!" Koizumi gestured to the background behind her. "Just stand there and pose how you wish, and I'll take the photos. They're Polaroids, so they should develop in a couple minutes by themselves."

Kokichi grabbed a stuttering Shuichi and dragged him to the spot. "Let's make a cute pose, Shumai!" he offered. Shuichi smiled hesitantly and Kokichi hugged him. He could see the camera flash out of the corner of his eye.

"One more!" Shuichi yelped as Kokichi attempted to climb on his shoulders piggy back style, but slipped off. They fell to the floor in a clatter of feet and canes, and without warning, Koizumi took the shot.

"I couldn't help myself," she explained apologetically. "It was cute." She handed them their still-developing Polaroids, and Shuichi thanked her quietly before moving on.

* * *

As they approached the food stand, Shuichi was met with a familiar face. Standing over the buffet line, accompanied by a white-haired individual he'd never seen before, was his therapist.

"Ah, if it isn't young Saihara and Ouma," Hinata remarked dryly as he noticed their approach. "Everything going well with you two?"

The white-haired fellow at his side laughed. "Hajiji, don't act so formal. It's a festival today, see? You talk to them as if you were their teacher returning graded homework."

"Nagito, I'm trying my best, ok? Hinata sighed and chuckled. "I'm not used to using my talents as a therapist, so I dunno how to act towards them."

"Don't talk about us like we're not here!" Kokichi whined. "Who's cloud kid over here?"

The two older men jumped, remembering that they had company. "Ah, this is my husband, Nagito Hinata," the brown haired man replied. "Nagito, these two are Shuichi Saihara and Kokichi Ouma, the two I told you about earlier.

Nagito looked at them, grey eyes wide with interest. In an attempt to get a better view of them, he brushed his fluffy white bangs away from his face. "You look just as adorable of a couple as Hajiji described, don't you? I can see the hope just pouring out of the both of you."

"Why does everyone think we're a couple?" Shuichi sighed, exasperated. "We're  n o t a couple. At least not yet anyways..."

"Awwww, Shuu-chan thinks we'll be a couple someday? I'm touched~." Kokichi grinned up at him.

"Argh! I mean-!"

"Alright, I understand," Nagito remarked gently. "Take your time. It was uncouth of me to make assumptions. I truly am trash-"

"Nagito, you're not trash." Hajime ran his hands through his husband's white locks. "We talked about this."

"But I obviously made a grievance upon them, Hajime. I am nothing but a burden-"

Hajime sighed and scooped up Nagito as if he were a feather. "Nope. We talked about this. We're going and I'm going to go kiss you until you believe otherwise." He waved at the two highschoolers, and in a flash, he and Nagito were both gone.

"Well, that was an experience. Here, try this crepe." Kokichi dragged a gawking Shuichi towards the food, chuckling merrily.

* * *

 **hoep_slut:** ah, you teenagers! so full of hope, it's as if you're overflowing with it!

 **Pinocchio:** bro who added the therapist's husband to the chat

 _Chiaki.exe_ would like to tell Ouma that she can add whomever the fuck she wants to the chat, you little nishishit

 **Pinocchio:** uhhhhhh Miu we sorta have a bug in the chat room

 **Thotticus Maximus:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **ahoegay:** Sorry about that, guys, I accidentally uploaded my AI to the wrong group chat. I'll fix this in a sec.

 **ahoegay** deleted  **hoep_slut** from the chat

 **ahoegay** deleted  _Chiaki.exe_ from the chat

 **ahoegay** deleted themself from the chat

 **i fucked a piano (player) once:** what a fucking mvp

* * *

 "ALRIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS!"

A loud voice caterwauled across the lobby. Perched on the stage was a woman with short dark hair streaked with pink and blue, in a leather jacket. "I'M IBUKI MIODA, THE ULTIMATE ROCKSTAR, AND I'M GONNA ROCK! YOUR! WOOOOORRRRLLLLD!"

The microphone screeched in protest. Shuichi winced. He didn't like loud noises. Kokichi limped up to the front of the stage, excited. Shuichi wanted to join him, but he was a little put out by the unholy shrieking Mioda was currently forcing into the microphone.

At one point, Angie, Rantarou and Kiyo ran past him towards her. He thought they were going to stop her, but when Angie dishearteningly yelled, "Atua says this music is divine work!" his hopes and dreams were crushed.

He regretfully backed away. There was a coffee table farther away from Mioda's wall of sound. He grabbed a cup of tea from the food table, waved goodbye to Hanamura, and sat himself down.

Sitting quietly there was a man that didn't look that much younger than Dr. Hinata, though he was comparatively more formally dressed. His hair was mousy brown and looked soft to the touch. It curled around his face, giving him the appearance of a younger man. As Shuichi sat down, three young adults left the table, one in a wheelchair.

"You don't like the loud music either, do you?" the man asked, a small chuckle lacing his voice.

Shuichi shook his head. "My friend does a whole lot, but I'm not a fan."

"Me neither. I'm Makoto Naegi. I'm still suprised Mioda and the others are a whole year older than me, to be honest. I helped them through a bad spot a while back." He seemed much more mature than most of the other adults here.

"Shuichi Saihara," Shuichi replied.

"I know." Makoto extended his hand, and Shuichi took it. They shook hands; Makoto's grip was firm and confident. "I've been working behind the scenes on your guys's recovery for most of this. It's exciting to meet one of you in person finally, besides Miss Shirogane, of course."

Shuichi smiled. He seemed friendly enough, and the way he spoke was reassuring. "Who were those three earlier?"

"Ah, those were Jataro, Nagisa and Monaca," Makoto explained gently. "They're inpatients here. Poor Monaca got in a car wreck and was paralyzed from the waist down. She insists that if she never recovers from her disability she wants to live in space. I cannot figure out why."

"As a Space NEET?"

"Yeah, that's exactly how she phrased it. Have you heard it from her before?"

"Maybe," Shuichi replied, chuckling. "I think my friend may have come across that Monaca in physical therapy once. Just a hunch."

"I'm glad to hear Monaca's making more friends. She really needs them," Makoto remarked. "All she has right now are Jataro, Masaru, Nagisa and Kotoko, but she's known them forever. This is pretty relieving."

"Yeah. I bet."

Shuichi returned to his tea, out of things to say.

* * *

"What the FUCK is wrong with your hair?" Kokichi shrieked. Angie, Rantarou and Kiyo stood behind him, gawking.

"It's always been like this, duuuude," the man replied lazily. His brown hair stood up in several directions, lazily tied back with a rubber band that looked 3 seconds from breaking. It's as if he were the sun and his hair was the rays. "I'm Yasuhiro Hagakure. Hiro for short tho, dude. This music's giving me positive vibes."

"Are you high or some shit?" Kokichi asked angrily. "Why do you have to say 'dude'? I just don't get it!" He rocked on his canes in distress.

"...I might be. Don't tell Makoto."

Kokichi scoffed, ready to go, when Angie and Rantarou swept past him. "You have WEED?" Rantarou asked excitedly. "I haven't hit a blunt since last year dude, indulge me!"

"Atua says he misses weed," Angie remarked plainly.

"Guys, I don't think this is such a good-"

"If I remember plainly, we're all over 18 at this point. It's perfectly legal," Kiyo replied. "I wish to partake in smoking 'that good kush' as well. It has been a while."

"What the fuck Kiyo, I knew you were high this whole fucking time!" Kokichi yelled. "I ain't gonna be part of this, I'm out." He hobbled away angrily as Angie took a drag on the weed, Rantarou giggling happily.

* * *

"And that's why we don't invite Hiro to shit like this," Hajime finished.

They had to lock Angie, Kiyo and Rantarou in the cafeteria, as they started a food fight and now had a serious case of the munchies. Makoto interrogated Kokichi, as he was the only witness.

Needless to say, as the host was inebriated, the Arts Festival got shut down early. After Kokichi was freed from Makoto's gaze, he slipped some of the golden butterflies into Shuichi's hair, who was clutching a galaxy painting Angie had made in his arms, shell-shocked.

When they came to get the three high kids out of the cafeteria, Rantarou's face was covered in golden stains, and Kiyo was smiling serenly, his lipstick smudged.

* * *

 **would stab someone tbh:** so what exactly happened? me and kaito were busy

 **Pinocchio:** i had to watch ranty n the gang get high off their asses that's what. you r lucky u missed it maki.

 **Pinocchio:** actually, was wondering, what were u doin w kaito anyways? each other?

 **mommy dearest:** kokichi, please mind your language around gonta, we don't want to corrupt him.

 **Pinocchio:** o shit, his screen name just might do the job tho

 **bee fucker:** what do you mean? Gonta no understand

 **bee fucker:** oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want my boys to confess in a swimming pool and it better be soon
> 
> i dunno two or three more chapters


	10. And He Walks!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He makes more of an effort to stand on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH I'M SO SORRY
> 
> SPRING BREAK STARTED AND ME N MY BRO HAVE BEEN PLAYING NONSTOP ZELDA SINCE MONDAY
> 
> actually he played and i watched 
> 
> but still
> 
> this doesn't excuse my lack of motivation

**Pinocchio and 15 others are online**

**Pinocchio:** Good morning motherfuckers~ (✿◠‿◠)

 **Space NEET 2.0:** not this shit again. what r u planning, u grape bastard

 **Pinocchio:** nothing, nothing!!! i just have a small announcement

**Space NEET 2.0:**

**toaster boy:**

**kaegay:**

**would stab someone tbh:**

**My Chemical Gay:** is it about those two

 **toaster boy:** about who

 **Pinocchio:** yes

 **toaster boy:** i need answers

 **Pinocchio:** yes it is

 **kaegay:** wait is this abt who i think it is?? omg

 **My Chemical Gay:** kokichi plz lemme say this one you have no tact

 **Pinocchio:** no

 **i fucked a piano (player) once:** wHEEZE

 **My Chemical Gay:** kokichi

 **ahoegay** _added themself to the chat_

 **izzy kamycurry** _added themself to the chat_

 **hoep_slut** _added themself to the chat_

 **izzy kamycurry:**  amami, shinguuji, please prevent your private intimate pasttimes from keeping the other patrons from getting the sleep at night that they desire. this is a hospital, not a whorehouse.

 **Thotticus Maximus** **:** YEOW THAT'S A BURN

 **ahoegay:** izuru, that's kinda harsh... ahhh, i let him type it anyways. who am i to reprimand him

 **hoep_slut:** why does izuru have a separate account anyways?

 **izzy kamycurry:** let me remind you that despite sharing a body i am a separate entity

 **izzy kamycurry:** now if you'll excuse me

 **izzy kamycurry** _deleted_ **hoep_slut** _from the chat_

 **izzy kamycurry** _deleted themself from the chat_

 **ahoegay:** remember kids,,,,

 **ahoegay:** privacy

 **ahoegay** _deleted themself from the chat_

 **would stab someone tbh:** what do you have to say for yourselves

***runtarous away*:**

***runtarous away*:** we're sorry

 **ju poppin:** i have no excuses

* * *

Shuichi wiped the scum from his eyes angrily. He hadn't gotten a wink of sleep; the noise from across the hall made sure of that. He was glad his friends found love but why had it have to be at the expense of the little sleep he got to begin with?

"I'd feel bad for them, getting roasted by the therapist like that," Kokichi remarked, his voice missing the usual pep due to fatigue, "but you know what? They deserve it. They deserve it so much." He sighed and snuggled against Shuichi contently.

"Hmm." Shuichi ran his hands through that purple hair, and Kokichi leaned into his touch. "Should we sleep for a bit? I'm tired," he offered.

"Yeah," Kokichi yawned, "but we gotta get up later. I've got physical therapy at three, remember?"

"Mmhm. Lemme get my antidepressants and I'll be right over there." He slipped from Kokichi's grasp only to get the pills, and once he was finished, he returned. Kokichi wrapped his arms around the other's waist and Shuichi slid underneath the covers.

They settled down. Shuichi sent a quick "i'm gonna get some sleep" to the chat and set his phone on his nightstand; likewise, Kokichi sent a message of his own. They pulled up the covers, and Kokichi settled his head against Shuichi's chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"...do you think this is skinny love?" he murmured, his eyelashes fluttering.

"Skinny love?"

"Mm, you don't know what that is. That's what Google's for, huh?" Those purple eyes eased shut gently. "Maybe if you remember, search it up later. Then you can answer me."

"I doubt I'll forget," Shuichi responded quietly, his voice leaden with sleep. He hadn't the energy to raise his voice further. "Night, 'Kichi."

"That's what you say," he yawned. "Night, Shuu."

He didn't remember the exact point when he drifted off.

* * *

 **Thotticus Maximus:** does any1 notice th fact tht succi n cockitchy always go 2 sleep @ th same time or is it just me lmao

 **i fucked a piano (player) once:** nah, i see it too tho

 **kaegay:** wait, didn't kaito n maki walk in on the 2 of them sleeping together once?

 **Space NEET 2.0:** yep, we did

 **Not in My Good Christian Suburbs:** angie caught them on the day of the art fair as well, or at least she thinks she did

 **Not in My Good Christian Suburbs:** i remember weed

 **ju poppin:** Rantarou and I were there as well, though we both smoked weed. My memory might be unclear

 **God Left:** the point is either they're in a relationship or they're in denial.

 **Gremlin:** wait but what if we're wrong?? shuichi liked kaede 4 a bit maybe he's straight

 **kaegay:** sore wa chigau yo

 **ju poppin:** triggered^^^

 **kaegay:** my gaydar says he is Not Straight™

 **toaster boy:** waittt kaede how did you do that tm thing

 **toaster boy:** i need guidance

**kaegay:**

**kaegay:** ask miu

 **would stab someone tbh:** so the grape gremlin and resident emo like each other??

 **mommy dearest:** If Saihara and Ouma's relationship intrigues you, I'll try to catch them when I bring lunch.

 **kaegay:** thank you mother

 ***runtarous away*:** we love you, mother

 **Gremlin:** you're the best, mom

 **bee fucker:** gonta agrees, kirumi is a good parent!! ≧◡≦

**mommy dearest:**

**mommy dearest:** I love my children.

 **Thotticus Maximus:** i love you mommy owo

 **mommy dearest:** Except you, Iruma.

 **momy dearest:** You are disowned.

* * *

It was about one in the afternoon when a quiet knock on the door woke Shuichi from his dreamland. It was gentle, yet firm; just enough to rouse him but not enough to annoy him. He yawned, and sat up.

"Saihara, may I come in? I have lunch."

"Sure, Kirumi."

The door creaked open just the slightest bit, allowing the maid and her tray of food in. There was two meals; pancakes and orange juice. Kokichi, smelling food, chose this specific moment to pop out from under the covers, his hair dishelved from sleep.

"Mmm, mother brought us brunch! Excellent!" Kokichi trilled, his arms outstretched. "You know just what an evil supreme leader and his beloved wants when they wake up in the morning. You're the best." He happily took the tray, downed his orange juice in one go and immedieately started to dig in to his food. Shuichi chuckled, and returned his attention to Kirumi.

"Thanks so much for the food," he commented, cutting into his own pancake with the side of his fork.

"No problem," the maid replied, stuffing her phone back into her pocket. "It was my pleasure. Respectfully, she bowed, and exited the room, the door clicking behind her.

"Hmm. She seemed off," Shuichi muttered.

Kokichi looked up from his food. "She took a photo and sent it to the group chat."

"She WHAT?"

* * *

 **mommy dearest:** theysleepinthesameroom.jpeg

 **i fucked a piano (player) once:** oh my god i ship it

 **mommy dearest:** Ouma also addressed Saihara as his beloved.

 **i fucked a piano (player) once:** thank you for this glorious contribution

 **Thotticus Maximus:** the question is

 **Thotticus Maximus:** did they fuck

 **My Chemical Gay:** HEY NO THIS IS A BREACH OF OUR PRIVACY

 **My Chemical Gay:** and no,,,,, miu,,,, we did not "fuck",,,, we're not even dating,,,,, i'm not like kiyo and ranty

 **ju poppin:** in my defense... he let me tie him up...

 **Thotticus Maximus:** KIYO YOU DOG I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD IT IN YOU

* * *

"Are you ready?" Shuichi asked as he pulled his grey hoodie over his head. Kokichi grabbed his canes off the floor carelessly. Shuichi noticed with a smile how he barely needed them anymore.

Kokichi smiled effortlessly, his bangs cascading down his face, eyes twinkling. "As ready as I'll ever be," he shot back with a mirthful tone. "Take me away, Shuu-chan."

"Alright." Together, they walked down the halls, the afternoon sun streaming through the accent windows. It was the first time Shuichi really paid attention to the scenery displayed. It was early spring, and the cherry trees outside were in full bloom, petals dancing across his field of vision. As the sun got lower it seemed to shine right into Kokichi's eyes, the other boy smiling genuinely as he meandered at his side.

When they arrived it was 5 to three; the physical therapist was waiting outside. She waved them in and they both sat respectfully down on the nearest bench. Out of the corner of his eye Shuichi could spot the green-haired Monaca in another room, shooting him and Kokichi the stink eye.

"So," the therapist began. "What do you have planned for today?"

Kokichi thought.

"Actually, I'd..."

Shuichi smiled and placed his hand over Kokichi's own.

"I'd like to try walking without the canes again."

"That sounds lovely. If you'll set the canes down next to you, if you please? Mr. Saihara, if you'll stand a ways away from him."

Shuichi squeezed Kokichi's hand and followed the therapist's instructions, backing away a tad bit. He could see the other boy's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed nervously, but he set the canes to his side.

"Well, here goes nothing," he called, a tremor in his voice.

And, shaking and wobbling the whole time, he slowly got to his feet.

It took Kokichi a couple of seconds to realize what he'd just achieved, but when he did, he let out a joyous shout. "Shuichi, Shuichi! Take a picture, take a picture!" he yelped. Shuichi readily fulfilled his request, snapping a candid shot and slipping his phone away as quickly as it had came.

When he recollected himself, Kokichi took a shaky step forwards, and when that worked, another. Slowly he made his way over to Shuichi, who smiled and held out his hands. Kokichi crossed the threshold like a baby deer learning to walk and grasped those long-fingered hands with his own.

"I did it, Shuichi, I did it," he whispered breathlessly, a tear sliding down his cheeks.

Shuichi wiped the tear away with his thumb. "Yeah, you sure did."

With a laugh, he pulled the skinny boy into a hug, catching every sob into his embrace.

* * *

 **My Chemical Gay:** i'm so proud of him.jpeg

 **Space NEET 2.0:** well shit he's back to full capacity

 **Space NEET 2.0:** everyone, don't forget to lock your bedroom doors at night

 **Pinocchio:** i resent that

* * *

"skinny love definition" -> search

Shuichi sighed as the results loaded. He wasn't sure what he'd find, but he was intrigued.

"skinny love, n

when two opposing parties share mutual feelings but are both too shy to confess. it feels like a relationship, but there's no actual established relationship there."

"Kokichi, you're right, this might be skinny love-" 

But by that time, Kokichi was nowhere to be seen, legs no longer bound by the canes he had carried and the weakness that had finally evaporated from his now-mobile legs. All he had left behind were those canes, which fell to the floor with a clatter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just imagine hajimeme, one phone in one hand and another phone in the other, izuru controlling one hand and hajime the other
> 
> filter


	11. Idea: Compassion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you're right, this might be skinny love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see i said i'd get to this chapter

This particular morning was stormy, and Shuichi's window was slick with rain. Every so often, thunder would gently crash, and a flash could be seen from behind his eyelids.

However, Shuichi wasn't asleep.

Shuichi hadn't been asleep all night. The sheets next to him were cold and empty, lacking a certain someone's warmth. He shivered every once and a while, his eyes screwed tightly shut, desperately chasing sleep. Sadly, it was for nothing, as sleep didn't come.

He sighed and reluctantly opened his eyes. Where Kokichi was, there was an empty spot on his bed, leaving him cold, leaving him alone. He couldn't place how it got to this point.

_"Kokichi, you're right, maybe this is skinny love-"_

Maybe he did know. In hindsight, Shuichi realized he really wasn't supposed to know what that meant. He figured Kokichi would've rather had this as his own secret, and only blurted it out on a whim. Shuichi growled at himself. That was insensitive of him, bringing it up like that.

But... he thought about it. If skinny love meant  _both parties_ were afraid to admit their feelings... did Kokichi like him back? He couldn't possibly, right? Shuichi sat up, clutching his sheets. Was that his way of admitting it?

But he couldn't, Shuichi assumed. He couldn't have feelings for a failure of a detective like him. The fact that he left proved it to him.

Maybe he'd just drop it.

* * *

**ahoegay** _added themself to the chat_

**ahoegay:** just wanted to let you kiddos know that we found a pool, it's down the hall past the PT room, last door on the left. thought you'd like to know

**FEMINISM.jpeg:** THX DR. HINATA!!

**Gremlin:** thx dude

**toaster boy:** i'd rlly like to go too, but i dunno whether i'm waterproof or not... °^°

**Thotticus Maximus:** kiibs, i'll see what i can do, meet me @ lobby 8am

**toaster boy:** thx miu °◡°

**ahoegay:** aight kids have fun

**ahoegay** _deleted themself from the chat_

* * *

Shuichi wanted to sleep more. He really did. However, the sheets were cold, and he had started to become hungry. He didn't want to move anymore, but he couldn't sleep.

He lugged himself out of bed, even if he didn't want to. He checked the clock.  _It's 7:30 in the morning. That's pretty early for me, honestly,_ he noted morosely. It seemed like he wasn't going to fix his sleep schedule anytime soon.

He stared into the mirror, and the mirror stared back. His reflection met him with dark circles underneath his eyes and snarly, mussed-up hair. He robotically dragged a comb through it, wincing when he hit a knot.

 He didn't even try hard with his eyeliner; it's not like he cared. Why? What was the point? At this point he was ready to crawl back under the sheets, but the memory of the chilly linens repulsed him from the idea. He sighed, shut his bathroom door behind him and left.

He didn't realize he had forgotten his antidepressants.

* * *

Breakfast was quiet; at least, for Shuichi. The dark-haired boy took only one pancake today. He didn't think he'd be able to manage any more than this. He slowly took bites; swallowing was hard, and his hands shook with each piece he raised to his lips. He didn't feel like eating.

Despite the excited chatter around him about the pool, Shuichi didn't bother participating. He didn't have any excuse to, so he stayed quiet. He figured he'd stop for a dip later with his friends, but nothing else. He was in his own world.

For that moment. Emotions are contagious, and his sour mood infected his classmates like a virus, first to Kaede and Rantarou, who were sitting next to him, and then everyone else, one by one. The excited chatter slowed down as Shuichi's weary feelings turned into a collective feeling. He sighed bitterly. Look at what he'd done.

"Shuichi," Kaede began. "Are you alright?"

He looked next to him. Kokichi wasn't there. He'd moved his plate and sat at another table, eating his food alone. Shuichi hid a shuddering breath behind his hand, and looked at Kaede, hoping his eyes didn't look too watery.

"I'm fine."

He wasn't fine.

He ate the rest of his pancake and left, not bothering to clean up after himself.

* * *

When he was packing up his pool stuff, a volley of messages hit the group chat, his phone vibrating in protest. He lazily flicked his phone open, and jumped with alarm when he registered what had happened.

"I thought they'd deleted her?" he audibly mumbled. "I'm not in the mood to play chat games."

_Chiaki.exe changed the names of_ **Thotticus Maximus** _and 15 others._

_Hi, I'm Chiaki, and to promote unity, we're gonna play a game!_

_I've changed all of your names to something related to your love lives. Except Gonta, of course, he doesn't deserve to be singled out like this. None of you will know what your name is until you send a chat. Type wisely! If you send something obvious, you'll get found out._

_The game ends when everyone is found out. No rules apply. You can't change your name back. Good luck!_

**Secretly a Sub:** oh FUCK no we AREN'T playing this game

**Secretly a Sub:** wait shit wtf how did she know

**Likes Being Called Maki Roll, Denies it:** do you want to die?

**Likes Being Called Maki Roll, Denies it:** oh, guess i'm out then. thx for the mercy kill

Shuichi sighed. This didn't look like fun. He angrily put his phone into sleep mode and returned to packing his pool stuff, but another volley of messages kept his phone ringing. He grumbled, and decided to text out a message.

**Secretly a Sub:** lucky Maki Roll, getting out of the game early!

**called a girl she just met sexy:** ha kaito ur out

**Secretly a Sub** _'s name was changed to_ **space jam**

**Likes Being Called Maki Roll, Denies It** _'s name was changed to_ **Mami Harukawa**

**Mami Harukawa:** do you want me to call hinata on your ass and delete you

**Mami Harukawa** _'s name was changed to_ **ass ass in**

**ass ass in:** better, but still terrible

**fucked a robot once:** maki power bottom confirmed

**space jam:** i wish u wouldn't bring that up

**so gay she actually hates men:** w8 who is "fucked a robot"

**so gay she actually hates men:** who did poor kiibo dirty like this?? was it one of you degenerates

**likes being tied up:** tenko i kno that's u

**so gay she actually hates men:** ok excuse me one point for "i fucked shinguuji in the hospital" rantarou amami

**likes being tied up:** hoe

**so gay she actually hates men** _'s name was changed to_ **karate kid**

**likes being tied up** _'s name was changed to_ **free sha voc a doo**

**had a str8 crush on a lesbian:** "fucked a robot" is miu

Shuichi could still remember it clearly. He didn't mean to catch them, but Kiibo had looked worried. Also, what was with that username? He was over Kaede at this point; no need to rub salt in the wound. At least "Chiaki.exe" didn't expose his crush. Speaking of crushes, wouldn't Kokichi be hollering up a storm in the chat by now?

**so dead inside he forgot how 2 love:** wait how do you know this?? and who are you

**likes tying people up:** Yes, how do you know this? Also, I concede defeat, this is Korekiyo.

**likes tying people up** _'s name was changed to_ **the folklore cunt**

**had a str8 crush on a lesbian:** i caught them doing the deed in the sim. it was... interesting, to say the least.

**space jam:** goddamn

**called a girl she just met sexy:** i feel bad for you, shuichi

**had a str8 crush on a lesbian:** thx, kaede

**had a str8 crush on a lesbian:** wait shit

**called a girl she just met sexy:** wait shit

**fucked a robot once:** HAHA BUSTED

**fucked a robot** _'s name was changed to_ **crafty thot**

**called a girl she just met sexy** _'s name was changed to_ **sonata in G major**

**had a str8 crush on a lesbian** _'s name was changed to_ **sore wa chigau yo**

**sonata in G major:** triggered

**wlw solidarity:** y tho

**sonata in G major:** i hate sonatas

 Shuichi sighed. Ah, at least he was out, and it was nothing embarrassing. Maybe this was just a bit of harmless fun. He hadn't seen anything  _too_ unusual yet, so maybe he'd let it slide and enjoy himself for a while.

**karate kid:** alright who's next

**only loves the whole great nation of japan:** me

**so dead inside he forgot how 2 love:** that's kirumi

**only loves the whole great nation of japan:** correct

**only loves the whole great nation of japan** _'s name was changed to_ **sweepy sweepy**

**wlw solidarity:** of course

**crafty thot:** who wouldn't it have been

**leave gonta out of this:** gonta is proud of kirumi's dedication to her country!!! 

**so dead inside he forgot how 2 love:** gonta, you are the light of all of our lives and you are never allowed to leave us

**told a cute girl to strip so she could "cosplay" her:** agreed

**sonata in G major:** 'Mugi, babe, I know that's you

**told a cute girl to strip so she could "cosplay" her:** i've been caught

**told a cute girl to strip so she could "cosplay" her** _'s name has been changed to_ **fucking weebs i'm an otaku**

**got built with a dick:** that's an... interesting? name?

**got built with a dick:** oh nvm

**wlw solidarity:** kiibo whoops

**got built with a dick** _'s name was changed to_ **android phone**

**wlw solidarity:** who's left besides me??

**would fuck God if he asked:** ah, angie hasn't said anything yet!

**wlw solidarity:** because you're angie no shit

**would fuck God if he asked** _'s name was changed to_ **smokes weed with God**

**sore wa chigau yo:** ok so we have himiko and hoshi left

**karate kid:** and ouma

**ass ass in:** is "dead inside" ouma

**so dead inside he forgot how 2 love:** funny you'd think that, but no

**karate kid:** but wlw has to be himiko

**wlw solidarity:** yes babe you're right

**wlw solidarity** _'s name was changed to_ **Little Witch Academia**

**ass ass in:** dead inside, if you are ouma, you might b lying

**so dead inside he forgot how 2 love:** but if you were right my name would've been changed already

**ass ass in:** o shit u right

**so dead inside he forgot how 2 love** _'s name was changed to_ **has killed a man**

**sore wa chigau yo:** but where's kokichi? he'd normally speak up by now, i'm worried

**crafty thot:** hey cockitchy we won't judge if it's something embarassing

**crafty thot:** i mean mine was the actual worst

**sonata in G major:** it's ok dude

**sonata in G major:** we support you

Shuichi's fingers tapped on his thighs nervously. Was there something wrong? Why wouldn't he answer? He was starting to get concerned.

He watched the screen for over five minutes, messages from his friends flying past his eyes. Nothing. Not a single word from Kokichi. Whatever it was, it was bad. Sighing, he set down his long-forgotten pool bag and dashed out of the room.

He tried Kokichi's room, but it was empty. He went to the cafeteria, and he found nothing. He tried the lobby, but all he could find were Monaca, Masaru and Nagisa playing Monopoly, the handicapped green-haired girl destroying them all. Concern churning in his belly, he slunk back to his room.

As he slung his swim bag back over his shoulder, a message finally appeared.

**Has a big crush on his bff:** end the game.

_what?_

Shuichi's heart hammered in his chest. What- why? Who was Kokichi's friend? Was it  _him?_ Either way, that was pretty cruel.

**Has a big crush on his bff:** change me back. I don't want this. I don't want this to be exposed.

_Rules are rules. You gotta get found out._

**Has a big crush on his bff:**  no. no i don't.

**Has a big crush on his bff** _added_ **ahoegay** _to the chat._

**ahoegay:** what's going on?

**ahoegay:** wait chiaki i told you not to jump to the other chat. change them back, please

_fiine._

_Chiaki.exe changed the names of_ **leave gonta out of this** _and one other_

_see you guys around!!_

**ahoegay:** sorry about that

**ahoegay** _deleted Chiaki.exe from the chat_

**ahoegay** _deleted themself from the chat_

**pure and smol boy:** gonta no understand why his user name was changed, but gonta is fine with it

**goddamn twink:** now if you'll excuse me

**goddamn twink:** i'm leaving

**sore wa chigau yo:** kokichi wait

**goddamn twink:** see y'all at the pool

**goddamn twink** _deleted themself from the chat_

Shuichi threw his phone onto the floor in anguish. He'd slipped out from under his fingers yet again. He hastily stuffed it in his swim bag and slammed his bedroom door behind him.

* * *

The pool was a long walk away, but Dr. Hinata wasn't lying about the location. At the end of that hallway, it was exactly as he had described. Shuichi remembered the last walk he and Kokichi had taken down that hallway; he'd made the journey back alone because he hadn't considered his feelings.

The rest of his friends met him on the way down, each joining him one by one until they made a ragtag group of 15, Kiibo freshly waterproofed, his joints sealed and watertight. They all either had some sort of swim bag or were already changed into swinwear. The notably absent one was Kokichi, and Shuichi assumed he was already there. It was easy to visualize the boy absentmindedly floating in the pool, ruminating about his miserable situation.

The closer they got to the pool, the cooler the air became. The group split down the middle for locker rooms, and Shuichi waved goodbye to the girls as he stepped inside.  The tiled locker room floor was slippery, so Shuichi tread carefully as he made his way to the bench. He eased out of his day clothes and slipped into his swim trunks, one slender leg at a time, and made his way to the door. He sincerely hoped his eyeliner was waterproof.

The pool was of a modest size, and it lacked the lane stripes a normal indoor pool had, as nobody was planning to do any racing in there anytime soon. Rantarou, Kaito, Yenko, Himiko and Angie were already in the pool, splashing each other and racing each other, as well as Kokichi, who was absentmindedly floating by his lonesome. 

Shuichi watched at the water's edge as each of his classmates jumped in, one by one. They each made a varying-sized splash; Hoshi made barely a ripple, whilst Gonta splashed everyone within a 7-feet radius of him. When everyone else had arrived, Shuichi himself quietly slipped in, careful not to disturb anyone.

He found himself getting nearer to Kokichi. The other boy's eyes were downcast; that shining purple he'd grown to love so much was dulled today. When he noticed Shuichi's approach, he waded farther out, until all that was keeping him tethered to the pool bottom were the pads of his toes. Shuichi followed.

"Kokichi," he started hesitantly, keeping his tone soft and gentle. "Please talk to me. I want to know what I did wrong."

"I don't want to talk about it, Saihara-chan." He turned away and tried to wade out further, but the depth of the water prevented him from doing so.

Shuichi sighed. He should've expected this. Kokichi was naturally untrusting, after all. However, he didn't want to let this go anymore. "Please talk to me," he pleaded. "I know you're in pain, but I just want to help you. You can trust me."

He didn't notice as his friends caught wind of what was going on. They whispered amonst themselves, and one by one, they slunk out of the pool. They tried to appear as if they left, but if either of the two had tried to notice, they'd see them peering out from behind the locker room door.

"Ah, it looks like everyone's leaving," Kokichi cut in, making his way to the pool's edge. "I'll just go-"

But Shuichi resisted, grabbing his wrist tightly. "No," he replied adamantly, in a show of assertiveness he didn't expect from himself. "I'm not just ignoring this, Kokichi. I care about you, damnit, and watching you hurt yourself to deny the truth hurts me."

Kokichi didn't look at him. "And what truth did you find, Saihara-chan?"

"I-"

"If you can't say it to me, then you're not confident enough in your truth for it to matter to me," he spat. "I don't want to talk."

Shuichi stood up, water dripping from his hair into the water. He walked over to Kokichi and took his hands in his own, disturbing the mirror-even surface of the beautifully calm pool. Kokichi looked away, but the anguish he was feeling was written on his face, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

"Kokichi, look at me." Shuichi pulled him into the water, and the other followed reluctantly. "You don't have to lie to me."

"I don't- I don't want to t-talk..." Kokichi hiccuped. 

"Kokichi."

He whimpered, his purple eyes screwing shut, and finally, he wrapped his arms around Shuichi, his salty tears mixing with the chlorinated water. Shuichi started at the unexpected contact, but smiled and held the smaller boy in return. Kokichi's thin frame, top half bare, trembled in his embrace.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I'm so sorry for not telling you the truth." He looked up and finally met Shuichi's gaze, tears and pool water still running down his cheeks.

Shuichi smiled gently at the other, taking his hands in his own again. "Is there something you would like to say?"

"Yeah." Kokichi swallowed, steeling himself. He looked Shuichi dead in the eyes, refusing to look away.

"I'm in love with you, Shuichi Saihara."

Shuichi grinned without abandon. He closed the distance and placed his lips against Kokichi's gently. They were warm, like everything else about the boy. Kokichi's eyes widened for a split second before he closed them, returning the gesture. It was soft and sweet, and absolutely perfect.

When they broke, Shuichi rested his forehead against Kokichi's own. Kokichi let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding.

"So-" Kokichi began, but Shuichi put a finger against his lips, quieting him.

"I'm in love with you too, Kokichi Ouma," he replied softly.

Kokichi laughed. It sounded like glass windchimes, tinkling and musical. It was beautiful, and lyrical, and genuine. He looped his hands around Shuichi's neck, and pecked his nose.

"You dork," he remarked with a watery chuckle. "You really had me worried."

Shuichi kept smiling. He didn't have it in him not to. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

Kokichi let out a sigh of relief and sagged into Shuichi's arms. They made to exit the pool and leave, but before they could, 14 teenagers rushed them from the locker rooms, giving their congratulations, and the occasional, "fucking finally!" Laughing, the new couple let themselves be herded out of the pool, and to wherever they decided to go next.

* * *

**sore wa chigau yo** _added_ **goddamn twink** _to the chat._

**the folklore cunt:** Operation Abandon the Pool and Let the Oumasai Commence was a smashing success.

**goddamn twink:** "oumasai"? guys, did u give us a ship name and everything? i'm honored

**fucking weebs i'm an otaku:** nah br0 everyone has a ship name at this point, like there's momoharu

**sonata in G major:** and that's it, the rest are a work in progress

**goddamn twink:** lovely. now let us never speak of ship names again alrighty?

**free sha voc a doo:** al-fucking-righty 

**free sha voc a doo:** i've never heard kokichi use the word alrighty in my entire life and i'm afraid

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't u worry kid dos the fic isn't over yet
> 
> but haha we're comin round the mountain when she comes am i fucking right
> 
> sorry for the slight angst
> 
> happy easter if i forget to post again


	12. The Argument Is About Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tldr: don't let your boyfriend and your best friend's girlfriend read your texts to the group chat about how hot he'd look in a suit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was very very late and i apologize, got in a self-hating slump and basically turned myself into a monster for gags, had an assembly and a test day, life sucks
> 
> sorry darling
> 
> by no means am i going to drop this fic, I'll keep writing until it naturally comes to a close bt it might be a while i need to sort out my assets. i need to get in touch with my best friend who i abandoned because i hate myself, this is hurting him and despite my desire to close myself off watching him struggle to talk to me again is giving me the chills. i love him more than anything and i can't keep doing this to him anymore.
> 
> once i have that sorted out i'll be fine!! but i need courage so yeah haha
> 
> sorry for my rambling. i just- i'm in a bad spot hhh

Shuichi's mornings were a little sweeter now, like someone had dropped a gumdrop in his tea. 

The sun woke them both up again. Kokichi would usually get up first, but he'd fight the urge to get up, and just sit there, taking in Shuichi's scent and warmth. Sometimes he'd fidget; Shuichi'd murmur a small  _five more minutes, 'Kichi_ and Kokichi would smile and whisper  _ok._ He'd try his best not to move again and disturb his boyfriend, and sometimes they'd fall back to sleep by accident.

When even Shuichi couldn't sleep any longer Kokichi would pretend like he was asleep that whole time and lean over him, planting a kiss on his forehead with a small  _good morning, sweetheart_ and Shuichi would want more. He'd lean up and steal those plush lips in his own, dissatisfied by just a touch to his forehead. It was always sweet; sometimes, it got a little more hungry than that, but it never escalated too far. 

They'd lazily get out of bed and shuffle to the bathroom, clinging to each other. On days where they both slept in and Shuichi somehow woke up by himself, he'd pick up Kokichi and carry him to the bathroom on his shoulders. Kokichi tried the same once; he dropped Shuichi on the floor by accident and they both broke into a fit of laughter. Kokichi would comb Shuichi's hair; Shuichi would insist to help Kokichi with his but he'd refuse, ever particular about his own work. Shuichi would huff and sigh as his smaller yet more assertive boyfriend would fix his own hair with an expert flick of the wrist. Some days, Kokichi would put some of the butterflies from the art fest in Shuichi's hair; other days, he himself would wear a pastel sweater. Kokichi kept their looks as lively and fun as their days in rehab.

Kokichi and Shuichi made sure the other had taken their pills; Shuichi his antidepressants and Kokichi his newly acquired antipsychotics. Each boy had their problems; with the chemical help the pills offered and the moral support the other boy offered, they were a bit more manageable. They still had their bad days, but they weren't so bad with a warm pair of arms wrapped around their waist, holding them as they cried. For Shuichi it was the security of knowing the person there wouldn't leave; for Kokichi, it was the relief of finally being able to trust someone with his absolute everything. The help the other offered was invaulable.

They'd make their way to breakfast, laughing sometimes, humming contentedly other times. The hall windows always had some sort of scene; cherry blossoms, birds, beautiful sunrises glittering off of the pond. Some days, when the weather permitted, the students would opt to eat outside, allowing them to get in even closer touch with the picturesque scenes they saw on the way. Other days they stayed indoors, but it didn't detract from their ability to marvel at their surroundings. As well as this, they also on chance got to walk down with other friends, who'd ask them how they're doing or describe some meme they came across whilst midnight browsing.

Breakfasts were always delicious; even more so when shared with those you love. Whether it was a pancake or a piece of bacon, Shuichi felt that it all tasted divine if it came off of Kokichi's fork. Kokichi would laugh  _(nishishi, Shuu, you're so cute when you nibble like that!),_ but on occasion, he'd catch him turning his head away and going bright red, like a traffic light. There was also the one occasion where Shuichi got bold and missed the fork entirely, instead opting to kiss his boyfriend on the lips. Kokichi got flustered; the whole table politely applauded. Kaede followed his example sneakily with Tsumugi the following evening for dinner and the table reacted similarly.

Mornings were like a sundrop; warm, invigorating and lively.

* * *

 

 **crafty thot:** u kno who's gay?

 **the folklore cunt:** Rantarou, Ouma, Saihara, Akamatsu, Shirogane, Yumeno, Chabashira, Yonaga and myself?

 **crafty thot:** well i was gonna say everyone in this goddamn group chat bt that's awfully specific

 **crafty thot:** don't exclude us bi and pan kids Kiyo

 **ass ass in:** i can confirm this to be true, kaito and i are both bi

 **goddamn twink:** momota-chan i didn't think you had it in you, i thought you were totes a cishet

 **space jam:** yes, it's true

 **space jam:** kaito momota, luminary of the stars, is a proud bisexual!!!

 **space jam:** bt i'm taken by maki so that doesn't matter rn lol

 **crafty thot:** point validated, kiyo, everyone in this chat is not straight

 **has killed a man:** aight iruma why are you rlly here?

 **crafty thot:** oh yeah

 **crafty thot:** keebs, babe

 **android phone:** we were thinking of setting up a fancy dinner party later!! ≧◡≦

 **sonata in G major:** omg omg 

 **sonata in G major:** i'm totes in

 **sore wa chigau yo:** you're only in because you wanna see tsumugi in a fancy party dress

 **sonata in G major:** admit it u desperate virgin you wanna see kokichi in a white suit

 **sore wa chigau yo:** i'm not denying it, the question here is your denial

* * *

**goddamn twink** _started a private chat with_ **fucking weebs i'm an otaku**

 **goddamn twink:** r u thinking wot i'm thinking

 **fucking weebs i'm an otaku:** switch outfits?

 **goddamn twink:** switch outfits.

 **fucking weebs i'm an otaku:** glad we could have this talk.

* * *

Afternoons were like a lazy daydream. Sometimes they had a therapy appointment; not always enjoyable but thoroughly necessary. Other days they went out to the lawn and watched clouds pass. Another activity of choice was to play card games, or go down to the lobby to visit friends.

Today, they had therapy. Hinata was pleasurable as usual when dealing with them; today, Kamukura was in the front seat. The therapist's alter ego was strange, but very good at his job. Shuichi found Kamukura interesting; Kokichi was a bit put out, but willing to reason.

They hadn't informed their therapist of their newfound relationship, but they planned on doing so that afternoon. Shuichi recalled that he seemed pretty interested in the two of them being a thing, and Hinata's husband also automatically assumed they were a thing when he first met him. He chuckled as he imagined Hinata's reaction.

"Ah, welcome back," Kamukura greeted as the two boys slipped onto the blue couch. "I presume things are going well with the pair of you, as usual? No new complaints?"

"No, not particularly," Kokichi yawned, snuggling up closer to Shuichi, who ran a hand through his hair. "We've had a couple rough days, but mostly everything's fine."

The corners of Kamukura's mouth lifted into the trademark half-smile they'd grown to expect from him. He didn't really express his emotions much, so the mere fact that he attempted to smile was a relief to everyone involved. "A couple of bad days are to be expected, but I'd prefer it if you recount them to me. Did you notice anything in particular that alarmed you, or was it ideas you have noticed before?"

Shuichi smiled. Kamukura's odd way of talking was entertaining to listen to. It was rather formal; Shuichi hadn't experienced anything like it in his life. "Nothing that strange. I'd felt off, so I came to Kokichi about my feelings and he listened to me and comforted me. He did the same a couple of times himself."

"That's good." Kamukura's half smile didn't break. "Is that it?"

"Ah! One other thing we forgot to tell you," Shuichi added with a smile. "Kokichi and I are-"

Said boy's head sprung up, almost hitting Shuichi in the jaw. "We're dating!" he chirped happily.

Kamukura's mouth slipped into an O in shock. "Congratulations. I thought you'd keep on chasing each other to no abandon forever. I'd stay and chat, but," he continued, straining against each word, "Hajime seems to want to give his input. I might see you later."

"See you, Kamukura-chan!" Kokichi replied cheerfully. Shuichi snorted at the feminine suffix his boyfriend used, and nonchalantly waved.

The brown-haired man's eyes shut for a second, and he exhaled, hairs not caught in his messy bun fluttering over his face. He sat idle for a moment, and then in a flash, his bicolored eyes snapped open, red and green gazes piercing through the couple. "You're a couple now?! Congrats!" Hajime cheered, a sociable smile washing over his face. It was a complete paradigm shift from Kamukura's mannerisms. "Let me text Nagito, he'd be thrilled."

Hajime excitedly pulled out his phone with a hurried, "excuse me," and within a couple seconds, he'd texted his spouse. With a smile, he looked back up at them. "I'll let you know if he responds," he assured them both. "I'm super excited for the both of you. You seem to be pretty good influences on each other."

"Thank you," Shuichi responded warmly. "That means a lot." Hajime's words, as a therapist, gave him confidence.

The man smiled. "Well! If everything's in order like Kamukura says, we could start to talk about arrangements outside of the hospital-"

He was cut off as the door burst open, revealing Nagito and a few other adults, including the Koizumi, Mioda and the kimono lady from the art fair. The white-haired man at the front of the pack was beaming, holding a small cake with the words  _congrats on your getting-together!_ neatly written in frosting. When the group spotted the two boys, they all haphazardly yelled "congrats!" in varying intervals. It was unplanned, uncoordinated, and everything Shuichi could've asked for.

Judging by the twinkle in his boyfriend's eye, Kokichi was grateful as well. He sprung off of the couch like lightning, dragging Shuichi after him, the taller boy laughing. With a "ooh, for me?? Thank you!", Kokichi snatched the cake from Nagito, marvelling at the frosting work that was most likely a product of Hanamura. He dabbed his finger into the frosting and pushed it past Shuichi's lips, smiling brightly as Shuichi gasped at the sugary sweet frosting and eagerly licked it off.

"Why'd you gasp?" Kokichi murmured.

Shuichi's reply was short and candid. "It's sweet."

"Not as sweet as you, Shuu!"

"You're a tease." Shuichi leaned down and kissed his boyfriend happily, who wrapped his arms around his neck in return. It lasted for a short, sweet moment, until a collective "awwww!!" and a camera flash reminded them that they had an audience.

"You guys are all actually the worst," Shuichi snickered.

Nagito smiled, wrapping his arms around Hajime's waist. "We know."

Afternoons were sleepy; but sometimes, they had their own little spice as well.

* * *

**smokes weed with god:** hey toujou, angie needs u to be down in the lobby by 3, i was gonna pm you bt i'm lazy

 **sweepy sweepy:** alright. thank you for reminding me.

 **ass ass in:** wait what's this about

 **ass ass in:** yonaga and toujou don't often get personal i want answers

 **the folklore cunt:** ah, yes, Angie has decided she is going to paint us all. She has already conpleted her paintings of Rantarou and I.

 **smokes weed with god:** i'm doing ouma next!

 **sore wa chigau yo:** get in line

 **crafty thot:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **space jam:** bro NOOOOOOOO i didn't need to hear that

 **pure n good boy:** gonta no understand? please explain to gonta

 **sonata in G major:** nonono gonta you don't need to know

 **crafty thot:** angie wanted to DO him but Shuichi wants to FIRST

 **sweepy sweepy:** Miu.

 **has killed a man:** Miu.

 **karate kid:** MIU.

 **Little Witch Academia:** miu

 **ass ass in:** iruma i am going to personally end your life

 **crafty thot:** lmao whoops bye bitches

 **crafty thot** _deleted herself from the chat._

 **android phone:** no wait come back

* * *

Nights were enchanting. Tonight, just as Miu had promised, they were given a reception area for their fancy dinner. Shuichi had found in his belongings a suit; it puzzled him to no end why it was there, but considering Danganronpa  _was_ a tv show, he supposed pre-game him had assumed he'd need it eventually. Guess he was right.

He'd had his resignations about wearing it, but after he'd put it on, he didn't regret it. It was a fine suit, the cut immaculate and refined. His tie was black, stripes alternating between solid material and a velvet rose design. On his lapel was a golden button pin and chain, the rose design fitted against his pocket, the chain looping through a button hole and disappearing behind the fold of his suit jacket. His pants were perfectly ironed; his shoes shined under the overhead lighting. He'd smoothed his hair back and done his liner; he felt increasingly more confident in formal wear than he did normally. Particularly, he felt taller.

He made his way down by himself. Normally, Kokichi would accompany him, but he said he had a surprise for him, and that he'd meet him there. It was lonely, but Shuichi trusted his boyfriend, and assured himself that it would be worth it. Smiling, he made his way towards the hall.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kokichi was sitting on Tsumugi's vanity stool, making a fuss as she slipped blue flowers into his hair, the girl in question wearing Kokichi's white tux.

"I still can't believe that it took such a small alteration on your suit for it to fit me," she admonished, gesturing to her open sewing box. "I guess you really are taller than we give you credit for."

Kokichi hummed. "I know. I noticed I was a little taller when I woke up. What did you say I was in game, 5'1"? I think I'm at least 5'4" now, don'tcha think?" He winced as she dragged the comb through his hair again. " _I_ can't believe your dress fits me, Tsumugi-chan, you're  _super_ tall." He raised his arms, marvelling at the midnight blue dress on him, the fabric glittering gently. The dress was like gossamer, the thin, almost see-through fabric on the outer layer rippling with his movement.

Kokichi's face was done up in makeup too, all Tsumugi's work. He had on dark, winged eyeliner and glittering blue eyeshadow, as well as lipstick to match. His hair was brushed meticulously and fashioned around small blue forget me nots, which Tsumugi was just about done fixing into his hair.

Tsumugi hadn't forgotten about herself, either. She had done her own makeup, then braided her hair and fixed it into a tight bun. Kokichi couldn't wait to see the look on Kaede's face when she saw her girlfriend. 

Just as Tsumugi finished the last flower, Kokichi's phone buzzed. She freed him and he bounded over to it, smiling as he read the contact name. "Shuu texted me!" he called back to the other girl. "He says he's there and that he found Kaede by the drinks. Should we get going?"

Tsumugi smiled. "They're both in the same spot? Perfect," she remarked. "We'll go. Be gentle on the flowers."

Kokichi grinned and looped his arm through Tsumugi's. "But really, Tsumugi-chan," he offered seriously. "Thanks. This was a lot of fun."

The blue-haired girl smiled, eyes gentle from behind her glasses. "No problem. I owe it to all of you anyways."

* * *

Shuichi shrieked as Kaede mimed splashing her drink on him. "I don't deserve this!" he yelped. "Have mercy!"

"Never," she replied, a lazy grin gracing her face. She was wearing a short sunset lavender dress, a couple of white bangles on her arm, maching the familiar barrettes in her hair. Her lips were lightly glossed; her shoes, white high-heels. "You sat here moping around by the drinks because your boyfriend isn't here yet. I have to liven up this party somehow."

"I protest! I'm just generally a miserable person!" He swatted away Kaede's cup. "This is bullying! The party's great!"

He was able to tell just by looking around. Everyone was there, sans Kokichi and Tsumugi, talking and laughing with one another. There was Miu and Kiibo, Miu leaning over the flustered robot, laughing, a drink in her hand, talking amicably to Hoshi, his knit hat absent. Gonta was smiling showing off a butterfly garden to Himiko and Tenko. Kirumi was helping Hanamura fill up the snacks table, Kaito dragging Maki over to intercept them. Angie, Rantarou and Kiyo were talking, making their way over to the drinks table. As they saw Shuichi and Kaede, they waved.

"Ah, hey, Rantarou, Angie, Kiyo! You guys look great!" Kaede greeted them. "Looking for drinks? I wouldn't try the punch, I think Miu spiked it."

"Spiked punch? Excellent," Rantarou replied, and poured a healthy amount into his glass. "I was looking for some booze."

Shuichi sighed and smiled, trying not to laugh. "You aren't going to stop him?" he asked Kiyo.

Kiyo shook his head. "I would, but I'm probably going to crack and get some later. That would be hypocrisy. The best thing to do is just let it happen." He smiled as Rantarou came back to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Babe, how long do you think it'll take for me to get drunk this time?" he joked. "I'm betting 30 minutes."

Kiyo laughed. "Imagine how amusing it would be if the punch wasn't spiked at all and we're all just overreacting? That'd be a show."

"You're kidding! It has to be spiked, this is Miu we're talking about," Kaito remarked suddenly, bursting in on the conversation, Maki chuckling behind him. "There's no other booze, this has to be it."

"You say so, but I may be correct."

Kaito shrugged. "Whatever you say, man. Oh, look, I think Tsumugi and Kokichi might be here!"

Sure enough, the door creaked open, and two people slipped in. As they got closer, Shuichi's jaw dropped.

Kokichi looked  _stunning_ in Tsumugi's glittering blue dress, hand on his hips, sauntering over to Shuichi in navy blue pumps. "Shu~i~chi~!" he crowed, wrapping his arms around him and leaning up to give him a peck on the lips. "Did you miss me?"

"Ah, Kokichi, you look  _beautiful,_ " Shuichi stressed warmly. "Did you and Tsumugi plan this? You're amazing."

"We did," Tsumugi replied. "We saw your and Kaede's texts in the group chat and we kinda just rolled with it. I think Kokichi's thought process was something like 'how can I fuck this up but still pull it off'." She smiled at the attention an ecstatic Kaede was giving her, and leaned down to kiss the blonde girl's nose lightly.

"Mmhm, I'm super smart! But I want Shuichi to take me to dance now. I hope my boyfriend's super happy to have me!" he chirped. He tugged on Shuichi's arm, gesturing to the open space.

Shuichi grinned, feeling his heart flutter each time he looked at his smaller boyfriend. "I'd like that," he replied amicably, allowing Kokichi to tug him away. "See you later, guys, I got a Kokichi to dance with."

The whole group sighed as he left.

"There he goes," Kaede chuckled. "Here one moment, stolen away by Kokichi the next."

Kiyo laughed. "He really is like a phantom thief, but instead of stealing riches, he's stolen Shuichi."

* * *

To Rantarou's great disappointment, three hours had passed, and he'd failed to intoxicate himself.

Which is why, at that present moment, he was sprawled over the white tablecloth, crying, Kiyo petting his hair awkwardly. "I did tell you there was a chance it wasn't spiked," he reminded him.

"I know," Rantarou bawled, "but I just wantED SoME FUCKING BOOZE!" He wailed, and returned his snot-smeared face to the tablecloth. Dozens of empty, crushed plastic cups lay strewn across the table, each one a failed attempt to get drunk. Kiyo hesitated, then took a discreet sip from his own cup, complaining about how bland it was.

"Ah, I'm sorry!" Kiibo yelped. "I was in charge of drinks this time! Miu said she'd feel safer if no one was drunk or high this time around!"

The whole table applauded, except for Rantarou, who gave a watery hiccup.

Kokichi grinned and leaned into Shuichi's shoulder. "Look at him. He's so innocent. Even while dating the queen of dirty shit herself, he's still innocent," he remarked, with a bit of childish wonder. "How is that possible? I'm fucking confused."

Shuichi snickered. "I can tell. You weren't even mocking him, either." He ran his fingers through Kokichi's hair, careful not to disturb the flowers woven into it. "Maybe that's just Kiibo."

"Do you think we should get Rantarou some booze? He seems upset."

"Nah. Kiyo's got it." As he spoke, Kiyo helped Rantarou out of his chair, and walked him to the bathroom.

"Alright alright!" Miu called from the head of the table. "As it is almost 11, and we all need to fucking sleep sometime, I've got two more party activities planned! We're gonna pop champagne, and then we're gonna have a couples dance!"

The whole table applauded again. A little booze was apparently ok at this point. At the mention of champange, Rantarou appeared in an instant, Kiyo following close behind. 

As if from nowhere, Miu whipped out a green bottle of champagne; the wrapping already undone. Kirumi followed in with empty champagne flutes, setting one in front of each person. She then sat down in an empty chair as Miu undid the cage on the cork. With a thumb on the cork, she shook the bottle violently; then, aiming away from the others, she let it fly.

Champagne flew out of the bottle. She aimed the stream towards the nearest glass and made a low whistle as it made a perfect, golden arc and filled up the glass in seconds. As the stream slowed down she walked around and filled up each individual's flute, the bottle running out just as she reached her spot again.

Each student raised their glass as Miu cleared her throat. "A toast!" she announced jovially. "To, uh... surviving this fucking nightmare!"

 _To surviving this fucking nightmare,_ the table chanted back, and glasses clinked around the table. Shuichi knocked his champagne against Kokichi's, and downed it, Kokichi following suit. A light waltz began to play, and Kokichi wordlessly took his hand in his own, Shuichi's other hand landing on his shoulder. Kokichi guided their steps, directing them both towards the large window.

"I know I already said it, but you're honestly beautiful," Shuichi whispered, burying his face into Kokichi's shoulder. The stars reflected themselves in his golden suit pin and the glitter on Kokichi's dress.

Kokichi smiled gently. "So are you," he replied softly. "You're amazing." He pressed a kiss into Shuichi's hair.

They rocked back and forth until the final song of the night ended, barely qualifying as a two-step, but it didn't matter to them. Their hands slipped from a proper dancing position to just wrapped around each others's waists, keeping them as closely bound as they could manage. As the final notes of the slow waltz faded out, they looked up at each other, and with the moonlight glinting off of their eyes, they met for a kiss. It was deep and slow, full of unspoken passion.

"I love you so much," Kokichi murmured.

"I love you too," Shuichi replied.

Their energy felt charged at the moment, their bond feeling like lightning connecting each other in a never-ending current. Kokichi took his hand and motioned to the door. Shuichi understood. They bid the group goodbye and made their way back to their room, something buzzing between them, something unchecked.

 In no time at all, they were in Shuichi's room, the pair kicking off their shoes, Shuichi's suit jacket already on the floor. Shuichi gasped as Kokichi's lips met his, the kiss already more heated than the one they shared next to the window.

He allowed Kokichi to guide him onto the mattress, peppering kisses onto his neck. He gasped at the feather-light contact the other boy provided him. Kokichi gently climbed over him and sat on top of him, and paused when Shuichi didn't protest.

"Do you... do you want to go further than this?" he asked timidly, his face flushing, his hair fluttering across his face and tickling Shuichi's nose as he looked down at him. "If you feel uncomfortable, we can always stop."

Shuichi smiled gently. "No, I want this," he offered. "Take me, Kokichi. I'm all yours."

"Alright." Kokichi leaned down, and-

* * *

**izzy kamycurry** _added themself to the chat_

 **izzy kamycurry:** despite your obvious interest in hearing about their actions, the narrator has decided that this fic isn't gonna end up being explicit. if you wish to actually hear about their actions, maybe they'll write something later, but i doubt it. thanks for reading so far!

 **izzy kamycurry** _deleted themself from the chat_

**karate kid:**

**karate kid:** i'm so confused? what the fuck

* * *

When all was said and done, Shuichi didn't regret anything. He felt closer to Kokichi than he'd ever been; he knew Kokichi felt the same. The purple haired boy was asleep on top of him; Shuichi figured he should clean himself up, but he didn't particularly want to move. The taller boy knew he was going to be sore tomorrow, but he also knew Kokichi would help him with anything he needed. Looking down at his soft purple hair, he felt totally and entirely in love.

Nights were alluring, like a warm, flicking fire.

Life was getting better for Shuichi Saihara, and he was finally able to realize it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is by no means over yet (although i could theoretically end it there. but i don't want to, i've got like two more chapters left.)
> 
> i'm projecting and I know it but i don't give a damn. i miss the boy; he's my first and last best friend, my confidant and my guide, a hand on my back, guiding me through the dark and i'm a horrible person for doing this to him. i'd write sappy shit with his face in the back of my mind, the warmth of his hand as it lingered a little bit too long as i'd hand him a rubber band or a scrap of paper. he radiates life and light and love and i don't deserve him.
> 
> i need to get my best friend back, but at the same time i need to protect him from me.


	13. The Discussing Of Arrangements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we've been promised our freedom on the second of may,  
> the school bells rang and freed us that day.  
> did one of us die, or all sixteen?  
> it's one of two extremes, there is no in between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey.
> 
> i said i was going to talk to him, but i never did hahaha
> 
> have this overdue garbage 
> 
> can you tell? is it coming to a close? i feel like i have one or two more chapters.

A little bluebird chirped outside of the window.

The window was open. A light breeze jostled a forgotten forget-me-not, and it rolled gently across the floor. The rest were elsewhere; on the pillow, in the sheets, in the corner next to the table.

The bluebird called once more, and spread its wings, flying off into the misty morning. Now it was gone; you wouldn't see it by looking out the window. You would have to chase it with wings of your own. 

The chirp shook a black-haired boy awake. His golden eyes flickered as he yawned. He forced them open, despite the urge to shut them again.

Someone was wiping his forehead with a cool cloth. When he had opened his eyes more, the identity was clear. Purple eyes glinted down at him, the gaze filled with love and care.

"Good morning, you," Kokichi whispered, discarding the rag only to press a kiss onto Shuichi's forehead.

Shuichi smiled warmly. "Good morning, love. Thanks for cleaning me up."

"What can I say?" Kokichi joked. "You only deserve the best. I brought clothes for you, too, and some eggs and bacon."

Golden eyes scanned the scene. Kokichi's assertion was correct. On the bedside table lay a fresh set of clothing and a plate holding delicious, warm breakfast. Shuichi leaned up to give his boyfriend another kiss.

"You are honestly the best," Shuichi whispered into the other's hair. "I don't deserve you."

"You deserve everything, and you know it," the other boy admonished. He took a comb and gently ran it through Shuichi's hair. "I'd give you the entire world if I could."

Shuichi sighed contently, letting the wind run across his face.

"You're cheesy, but I love you anyways."

* * *

 **sonata in G major:** lmao shuichi i hate to out u guys like this (lol no i don't) bt congrat on finally consummating ur marriage™

 **crafty thot:** FUCKING SPICY

 **karate kid:** I DO NOT NEED TO HEAR ABOUT DEGENERATES DOING NASTY THINGS!!!!!1!! dELETE

 **sore wa chigau yo:** shit wait how did you find out

 **fucking weebs i'm an otaku:** you just might,,, have the adjacent room next to ours,,, we share a wall,,,

 **fucking weebs i'm an otaku:** also ha kokichi I didn't know ur voice could get that high

 **goddamn twink:** that?? wasn't me?? wowowow

 **free sha voc a doo:** shuichi hoLY SHIT

 **smokes weed with god:** hmmm~ angie needs Shuichi to come down to the lobby; i'm painting him next!

 **crafty thot:** you mean cum down to the lobby

 **smokes weed with god:** i'm only going to say this once

 **smokes weed with god:** fuck you, miu~ (✿◠‿◠)

 **goddamn twink:** hol y fucking S HIT

 **goddamn twink:** sHE S W O R E

* * *

"Move just a little to the left."

Shuichi scooted to the left.

"Perfect."

Being painted by Angie was an unusual experience. 

The first thing Shuichi noted was the obvious amount of  _control_ the artist had over her medium. Despite her raincoat being covered in stains, not much got on the floor while she worked. Her brush strokes were deliberate and calculated, each action premediated. Shuichi knew the final product would have smooth, sharp lines.

The second thing he realized as that Angie sketched an outline of the final before any paint actually touched the canvas. It made him realize there was much more to an art piece than it seemed. The planning often took more time than the actual drawing or painting. It gave him a little more respect towards artists.

The final thing he noted was that modelling was exhausting. The lounge chair he was sitting in was soft, but his joints were starting to stiffen from sitting in the same spot for over an hour. His limbs begged to move; he resisted the urge to bounce his thigh.

He was about to sigh and beg for water when Angie finally looked up from her work. Her face broke into a huge grin as she compared her work with the subject she'd painted. "It is done!" she announced. "It still has to dry, but Atua says it will be ready for you tomorrow. Thank you!"

Shuichi almost wept ws he stood from his chair, his slender legs trembling. "Uh huh, you're welcome," he replied hurriedly, trying not to look like he was running away as he rushed out of the lobby. Once he was out of her gaze he booked it, running as fast as he could without jostling... some... sore parts. Kokichi was waiting for him halfway down the hall, and laughing, they raced each other back to their room.

Shuichi hoisted Kokichi up and jumped onto the bed, both boys landing in the pillows with a soft  _thump_. Kokichi laughed and brushed his violet hair out of his eyes.

"I was waiting for you the whole time," he remarked airily. "Angie wasn't too harsh on you, was she? If she was, I'd have to send DICE after her for hurting my beloved."

"Yeah, DICE and its ten thousand members," Shuichi snarked back, and pecked his nose.

The other boy huffed indignantly. "No, really! The little kids here really like me! We could stage Operation Tickle Attack as revenge! They're obedient subordinates!"

"Operation Tickle Attack, huh?" He mimed thinking deeply for a bit. "You mean... like this?" 

Shuichi leaned over and pressed his hands to his boyfriend's sides. Before Kokichi could protest, his gentle fingers were at work, light touches sending the shorter boy into a fit of giggles. 

"SHU-Shuichi!  _bahahaha_ STOP!" Kokichi yelped, his lithe frame heaving with mirth. "I d-  _haha_ didn't need a  _ha_ de-DEMonstration! I'm n-not ticklish- _hah_ _aHA!_ " 

"Are you sure about that?" Shuichi asked. "Because your reaction is telling me otherwise- hey, was that paper always on your nightstand?"

"What-  _hah,_ paper?" Kokichi let out between breaths. "I didn't have any paper?"

Shuichi snatched it up from the table. "All participants of Danganronpa Season 53 are to meet in the lobby at 3- babe, what time is it?" A spike of intrigue hit him.

"Oh, it's- SHIT, IT'S 2:55!" Kokichi yelped. 

"Run?"

"Run."

In a clatter of chairs and pattering feet, the two boys dashed out the door.

* * *

As they walked in, a crumpled-up invite hit Shuichi square in the forehead. He stopped in his tracks with a tiny, "oh!" and leaned over to pick it up.

"Whoever threw that paper," Kokichi asserted gleefully. "You're mom's a hoe!"

"You're late!" Miu called back to them, hastily crumpling up another flyer. "Sit your asses down!"

"You are late, but that doesn't hurt anyone here. There's no need to worry," a quiet voice reassured them. Shuichi looked up and met the gaze of Naegi Makoto. He remembered the man a bit from the art fair, but most of him was still a mystery. "Please do sit down, Saihara, Ouma."

At the man's side was a woman with lilac hair in a tight bun and a man with sharp, glasses-framed eyes and longer, light-colored hair pulled back in a neat ponytail. When the man noticed Shuichi looking, he scowled and scooted closer to the other adults.

"Alright!" mousy-haired Naegi began amicably. "For those of you who don't know us, I'm Makoto Naegi. To my left is Kyouko Kirigiri, and to my right is Byuakuya Togami. We're here to discuss your arrangements after you are eventually discharged. Any questions before we begin?"

"Yeah," Tenko started, raising her hand out of habit. "When are we getting discharged anyways? We've been here for like 3 months and I hadn't heard anything about it until today. Just curious." She reached out her other hand and tangled it in Himiko's, the mage's head resting on her lap, lazily observing everyone through her auburn bangs.

The woman, Kirigiri, responded. "At most, it should be a week or two. If we can get this settled quickly, it should only be a couple of days. It's best if we cooperate as we sort this out."

"No kidding!" Kaito exclaimed excitedly. "Maki Roll and I could get a place together!"

"Me and Mugi, too!" Kaede offered. Tsumugi wordlessly wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's waist.

Kokichi looked at him hopefully. "Us too?" he whispered to him, not adding to the surrounding conversation.

Shuichi squeezed his hand and smiled. "Yeah. That would be wonderful," he murmured back. He sunk into the warmth radiating out of the hand that he was holding. Kokichi was astonishingly warm.

"That does sound reasonable, but it would be preferable if you'd all stay pretty close together," Naegi reminded them. "It would offer familiarity while readjusting."

"That's fair," Ryoma replied evenly.

"As for finances," Togami began in a clipped, curt tone, "you'll find that the three survivors were given large sums of money for winning. These funds, as well as the term life insurance your families were obligated to purchase for you when the game, will fund the collective group's rent until you're properly employed. You're all of age, you'll be expected to find work."

The whole group groaned at the mention of work.

Togami leaned over to the other two. "Why do they hate me??" he whispered to them. "I only mentioned employment. I didn't curse their families this time. It's unreasonable."

Kirigiri chuckled. "They're kids, they don't like working. You remember how we were when we started working for the Foundation."

"Don't worry about it," Naegi assured them. "They're not mad at you, just the circumstances."

Togami awkwardly hugged both of them. "Thanks," he offered hesitantly.

Maki chose that moment to clear her throat, bringing the trio back to earth. They apologized sheepishly.

"We've brought several computers with apartment vacancy listings," Kirigiri informed them. "You'll notice that there are far too many. The killing game incited mass paranoia and violence. It was quite like the Tragedy that occured twenty years ago. It shouldn't be difficult to find work or lodging. Feel free to look through, and when you make your choices, let us know."

Everyone shuffled over to get a laptop. As Kirigiri promised, each screen was open to an apartment hunting website. Shuichi absentmindedly scrolled for a bit, until one caught his eye.

"'Kichi, look, this one has 89 vacancies," Shuichi offered.

"Are you fucking with me? 89?" Kokichi asked incredulously. "There's no way there's one that empty."

"No, it is," Shuichi supplied. "The rent's dirt cheap, too. They're really desperate for business at this point."

Kaito leaned over his shoulder to look. "The place looks damn nice. Maki Roll, come over and see this!"

Maki reluctantly meanered over. "Damn, he's right. They've even got a park near them."

One by one, each of the kids looked at the place and noted their approval. Before anyone could protest, all 16 students had agreed to rent rooms in the same apartment complex.

"Guess we really are stuck with each other forever," Rantarou chuckled.

"I assuming I can speak for everyone when I say we wouldn't have it any other way," Ryoma assured him.

* * *

 **Little Witch Academia:** wow i can't believe we forced ourselves to stick together??? this isn't surprising at all

 **pure and smol boy:** gonta is happy to be living near friends!! gonta would miss friends if he wasn't living near them

 **has killed a man:** gonta, you are the only worthwhile person in this chat

 **goddamn twink:** but mwistew weeoma what abouwt me

 **has killed a man:** kokichi

 **has killed a man:** you're less than garbage

 **goddamn twink:** ;-;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helb me my life is in shambles
> 
> this fic is gonba be writteb soob abd then a one-shot relating to the epilogue
> 
> then i might write komahina or mastermind!shuichi oumasai


	14. Re: Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And life marches on without an audience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should hopefully be the last chapter. more notes at the end.

It was a warm day in late spring when they were finally released from the hospital.

The 16 students, barely adults, followed one another through the glass sliding doors, each carrying a bag of some sorts. They all fished around for keys to cars they had no memories of bringing; however, they knew they'd driven them here before the game even began. Finding each one was a scavenger hunt.

They'd loaded everything up in their vehicles, but they were reluctant to leave. They were all going the same place, but it still felt like a goodbye, as if they were leaving something important behind.

It took Shuichi a while to realize they were departing from their childhood.

If he squinted, he could see a little boy with his hair and his eyes waving goodbye from one of the windows.

He waved back.

* * *

They sat on the curb for a bit before they left, bags all packed away. The wind gently brushed Shuichi's hair across his face. Everyone didn't want to leave just yet.

"You know," Kaito muttered, "if we were in a real high school, we'd be graduating right about now." His eyes roamed over everyone's faces expectantly.

Maki chuckled. "We did, just in a different kind of way. We've all learned something, haven't we? We've grown up, just as we would've in a normal situation." She smiled and cast her eyes downwards.

"I doubt I would've chosen this if I had the option to," Rantarou remarked with a laugh. "Still, I'm glad I got to experience this with you guys." He closed his eyes and leaned in closer to Kiyo, who caught his hand between his spindly fingers.

"Hey, wouldn't it be ironic if-" Kaede began, but she was cut off.

The glass sliding doors had opened behind them. There was Dr. Hinata, his husband, and all of their classmates, standing proud in the doorway. It only hit Shuichi then that they'd forgotten to say goodbye.

Tsumugi figured it out as fast as he had. She walked up to them. "Thanks for everything," she commented, reaching out to shake the man's hand. Hinata smiled, and gave hers a firm grip. 

The rest of Shuichi's friends finally caught on. Kokichi laughed, freeing himself from Shuichi to give Hinata a big hug. "I can't believe I forgot to say goodbye to my favorite therapist!" he yelled happily. He then turned to give Nagito a hug, adding, "And his terrible husband!"

Shuichi caught up to his boyfriend. "He's your only therapist, but I can see why he's your favorite." He smiled at Hinata. "Thanks a lot."

Hinata smiled back. "You're welcome. It's been a pleasure meeting you all."

After everyone had their chance to bid them aideu, Hinata gathered his friends and filed back into the building. Kokichi clutched Shuichi's hand as they waved goodbye.

"Do you think we'll ever see that guy again?" Kokichi whispered.

"Probably." Shuichi chuckled. "He doesn't seem like the forgettable type."

* * *

They sat back on the curb. It took a couple minutes of awkward silence to realize they didn't have anything left there.

Ryoma was the first one to stand up. "Hey," he began, "are you ready? There's nothng left."

"I think we are," Kiyo replied, softly. "Rantarou, is there anything else you need here?"

"Nah," the green-haired boy offered. "Let's go."

Kaede got up quickly, pulling Tsumugi up with her. "We'll see you all at the apartment, right?"

"Maki and I might stop for lunch first, but we'll be there," Kaito called. "I'm hungry, to be honest. I'm already missing Teruteru's gourmet meals."

"Don't worry, we'll survive without them," Maki replied with a wry smile.

"Wait up for a second, sluts," Miu interrupted. "Before you go, we're getting a picture together."

"A picture? The slut wants a picture? With me?" Kokichi gasped dramatically. "I'm in, nishishi! All women are queens, no disrespect today!" He laughed and ran over, pulling Shuichi along. "Just make sure you flatter my beautiful boyfriend!"

The others gathered around her. "Gonta, Kaito, Kiyo, Rantarou, you go in the back, you're all stupid tall. Maki, you can stand in front of Kaito if you want. Kirumi, Tenko and Himiko, you go next to Maki. Shuichi, Kaede, Tsumugi and Keebs, you're on her other side. Kokichi and Ryoma, you're both gremlins, you go in the front. I'll run over when it's ready." Everyone scrambled to their places, and Miu set up the camera.

A light started flashing, and Miu booked it, pressing into Kiibo's side. The robot smiled and placed a hand on her waist. Kokichi looked up at Shuichi, and grinned.

"3, 2, 1!" Miu yelled. "Cheese!"

At the last minute, Kokichi pulled Shuichi to his side and jumped into his arms. 

The camera flashed.

* * *

* * *

**re: epilouge**

 

"Maaannnn, I hate this! I have to wear a suit on a hot summer day, and three days after my 25th birthday, too!" Kokichi whined. "We should be partying right now. Couldn't this wedding be in the fall or something?" 

Shuichi laughed and leaned into Kokichi, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Kaede wanted it to be in the summer, and you know Tsumugi will get her anything she asks for. It's just how it is. Besides, we both know you won't be complaining later when you're having a ball on the dance floor."

"I knowww, but I want the dancing to be now," Kokichi huffed. He sighed and kicked the back of Kaito's bench. Kaito laughed and shoved him.

Tsumugi was already at the altar, wearing a white dress. She looked nervous, but elated. Shuichi knew that if he was in her spot, he'd be feeling similar. The weight in his pocket felt that much more apparent.

Kokichi chose this moment to miss and accidentally kick Maki. She turned around and grinned at the pair. "He's bored already, huh?" she asked Shuichi, mirth lining her tone. 

"Sadly, yes," he replied. 

"Babe, you wound me, talking about me like I'm not there!" Kokichi laughed. "Wow, I'm suuuuper insulted! I'm gonna play rock paper scissors with Kaito instead. I bet I'll win every time, Kaito-chan is a big dummy!"

"Oh yeah, pipsqueak? It's on," Kaito retorted, a big smile on his face. In seconds, the two men's hands were moving in a flurry, the ring on Kaito's finger glinting as the sunlight hit it in different angles.

"Looks like Kaito's just as bored," Shuichi laughed. "You'd think getting married to you would make him settle down!"

Maki smiled. "Kokichi always does that to him. Speaking of which, when are you going to propose? Kokichi's been whining about it ever since Tsumugi did."

Suddenly, everyone quieted down. Kokichi and Kaito paused their thumb war. "I'll tell you later," he whispered to Maki.

Kaede had arrived, walking down the aisle. Her dress had a long train, and gentle Gonta, wearing a white suit, flowers and butterflies in his long hair, was carrying it. When she reached Tsumugi, Gonta smiled, waved, and sat in the front.

Angie was the pastor. She'd somehow gotten herself a real status as a minister, and had offered to marry all of them if they asked her to. It seemed kind, but Shuichi knew she secretly had tons of fun playing matchmaker. Today, she was wearing her yellow raincoat, a white button up, and black slacks. Her hair was shorter today. Shuichi wondered if she had gotten a haircut the night before.

Kaede leaned up and kissed Tsumugi on the nose, still clutching her bouquet. "You look breathtaking," Shuichi heard Tsumugi whisper. Kaede smiled and whispered something back, but he couldn't catch it.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and others," Angie began. "Today we are here to celebrate the union of Tsumugi Shirogane and Kaede Akamatsu. Since after they first woke up again, to today and forever onwards, they've been at each others' side."

She paused. Leaning into the mic, she conspiratorially whispered, "I ship it."

The audience laughed. Shuichi grinned as Kokichi's wind-chime laugh filled his ears the loudest.

"True marriage begins well before the day it's made official, and contiues far after the ceremony's end. A brief moment and a mere pen stroke are all that one needs to make the legal ties, but it takes a lifetime of love and commitment to make a durable and everlasting emotional tie. Today you declare your commitment to your family and friends."

"Now you will feel no rain, for you will shelter each other. Now you will feel no cold, for each will be warmth for the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for you will be the other's companion. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life ahead of you. May beauty surround you in both the journey ahead, and through the years. May happiness be your eternal companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth." 

Angie closed her lecture. She closed her eyes, and smiled.

"Do you, Tsumugi Shirogane, take Kaede Akamtasu as your wife, and promise to care for her through rain or shine, and through thick and thin? Do you promise to be there for her for the rest of your natural lives?"

"I do," Tsumugi said with a watery smile.

"And do you, Kaede Akamatsu, take Tsumugi Shirogane as your wife, and promise to care for her through thick and thin, and through rain or shine? Do you promise to be by her side forever?"

"I do," Kaede replied firmly.

"Then I pronounce you wife and wife."

Kirumi came forwards this time, with the rings on a pillow. Kaede and Tsumugi took them, and slipped them on each other's fingers.

"You may kiss the bride," Angie crowed.

Kaede smiled, and jumped into Tsumugi's arms, locking her into a kiss. They spun around, clearly the happiest they'd ever been. Tears ran down Tsumugi's face. When they broke apart, Kaede wiped her tears away, pressing their foreheads together.

The crowd cheered, throwing flowers in the air.

* * *

When they got back to the apartment, Shuichi and Kokichi sat on the balcony, their suit jackets hanging over the railing. Kaede and Tsumugi let them keep some of the flowers, so Shuichi was haphazardly arranging them into crowns, one already nestled into his own hair. 

With a satisfied hum, he fixed the last two stems together, holding a wreath of different sized and colored flowers. Kokichi laughed as he nestled it into his soft purple hair, done in a messy bun, the pieces too short to fit framing his face. 

They sat there leaning against each other, watching the stars go by. The wind jostled their hair, leaves flying by every once and a while from the trees and their plants. The balcony was filled with them; some, beautiful flowerpots, others, creeping ivy that cascaded over into the balcony below them. Kaito cursed every time he had to prune them away from his windows. The crickets chirped, their cries carrying over the breeze.

Shuichi stood up, motioning for Kokichi to follow. He smiled and took his hand, the pair walking over to stand at the railing.

"Things are pretty nice now, huh?" Kokichi murmured suddenly. He leaned into Shuichi's side sleepily.

"Yeah. We've been together for a while now, huh?" The other man smiled, and fixed the flower crown that threatened to slip off of Kokichi's head.

Kokichi hummed his assent. "7 years," he whispered, drowsiness evident in his voice, "and you've been there with me the whole way. I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"No,  _I_ don't know what I did to deserve  _you,_ " Shuichi insisted, taking Kokichi's hands in his own. Kokichi turned to face him, back against the railing, looking puzzled. "You've been there ever since I woke up. You're supportive, kind, funny, and your beauty is just an added bonus. I'm lucky to have you."

Shuichi felt that weight in his pocket. He smiled. He knew it was time.

He got down on one knee, one hand pulling that ring box he'd had saved for three months now out of his pocket at last. Kokichi gasped, putting his free hand over his mouth with a whisper of "oh, shuu, you didn't have to!" Shuichi squeezed his hand in reassurance.

"Kokichi Ouma, your entire existence lit up my world like a light in a dark room. Since the day we met to now, you've always made an effort to keep my days happy and full of life. When I finally accepted it, I've never been happier. You're my everything."

A tear hit his arm. He couldn't tell whose it was.

"Will you marry me?"

Kokichi took two strides over to him and pulled him into a soft kiss. He broke free, and collapsed into Shuichi's arms, sobbing.

_"Yes, yes, a million times over yes."_

Shuichi grinned, nothing holding back his smile this time. For once, he didn't feel guilty. It was just him, his plants, the stars, and his beloved Kichi.

 

And time marched onwards without us.

_end_

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot twist: kokichi was planning to propose first but Shuichi beat him to it.
> 
> i passed out on the floor while writing this. tldr: check the time while you write.
> 
> it was 9:30!! i dunno why this happened!! i normally manage to stay up until two this is bs!!!!
> 
> anyways i've got a sweet little oneshot planned, maybe two, based on this chapter and u already know what this gonna be
> 
> anyways, all good writers put a nice thank you msg after their long fics so here i go
> 
> honestly, @ all u regular commenters, big thanks?? i l ove regular commenters 
> 
> big thx to users cocoabeanwriting, saraphynx, lilithium, BlackLotus13, HazelGayota, whatthequiznak and TypeWrite (SugarSweetest) for coming back and commenting on multiple chapters as the fic was being written! BIG THX BIG MOOD i LOVE THAT STUFF SUPPORT VALIDATES MY TINY HEART.
> 
> This was probably gonna be a lot shorter but here we are, 30k fic and I'm finally done?? this is my longest fic yet don't question it asjdjs. when i first started writing it i was worried the chapters were too short? Then i saw the word count go up and i was like DAYUM GURRL U A LONG ASS FIC 
> 
> so like nobody wants to read all 14 chapters because it's long and it's actual OOC garbage but for those who did T HANK
> 
> like it's honestly not good until they go to a goddamn therapist and if that isn't a big mood I dunno what is  
> kids if you have issues like i do, you need to see a godforsaken therapist it does wonders for the soul
> 
> also i was projecting in chptr 5 w/out realizing it into Shuichi's dialogue to Kokichi ouch
> 
> but anyways, thanks for reading, and stay tuned for more trash writing!


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